I may be jumping the gun here, and if so I’ll update this article. I’ll even apologize, if necessary. I went on a second date with my waitress. See my article “A Great Date.” In fact, allow me to quote from the last paragraph of that article:
“She doesn’t need a man in her life. She doesn’t want a man in her life. She simply enjoys the company of select men from time to time. No expectations, no demands, no ‘static cling.’ Just a fun, stress-free date.”
We are friends on Facebook. I’ve deliberately avoided Facebook because I had a very unpleasant episode with a different social networking site, and I didn’t want a repeat. Well, I should have listened to my gut. She and I went on another fine date last night (Saturday). It was fun! No pressure, no sex, no expectations. We just had dinner, some wine, excellent conversation, and lots and lots of laughs. I walked her to her car, complimented the date, and kissed her goodnight. That was our first kiss, by the way. All in all we had a blast. I did, anyway, and I am pretty sure she did too.
So I logged on to Facebook late this afternoon where I discovered she had left a post about having a pretty crappy day. I am not sure what started it, but she posted something like, “That’s what I get for answering the phone before I’ve had my coffee!” A few of her friends chimed in. She responded, touting about being by herself all the time and how bad it was. She chided one of her girlfriends about how “you CHOOSE to be single. I am single and I do pretty good, but it’s not really my choice. I pay my bills, I get along, but frankly it gets old,” or similar words. In short, she was making it clear that she lamented being single. She wanted somebody, clearly a man in her life.
Then I chimed in with a single word: “Yikes …?” Not five minutes—no, it had to be much less than five minutes later—all of her posts, past and present, disappeared. She “unfriended” me. No explanation, no pleasantries, no manners, no phone call, just dumped. Wow.
Now I need to offer a bit more information here. About three weeks ago, basically the halfway point between dates, she had hinted to me how she really didn’t want be alone after all. It was some kind of epiphany or revelation she had. So I can’t say I was totally blindsided by her posts. It was her fervent presentation of the subject which caught me a bit off guard, but what really knocked me on my ass was her reaction to my one-word post. In addition, she quit working at the restaurant on Thursday because she had found a better paying job. More power to her, but now she’s not even available to visit at the restaurant. And no, I don’t know where she lives. Should I call? Maybe. And I think I will. Not today, however. I feel it’s too soon, and she is having a crappy day anyway. I won’t add fuel to that fire.
Then again, maybe I won’t call her at all. I never pulled any punches with her. She knew where I stood. I have nothing invested with her beyond some time and a little money, which is what you do when you date. Further, I’m a big boy and I can take it, so being “shut out” as it were, is no biggie. But I must confess I am at least confused about all this. I know approximately when she changed her tune, but I’d really like to know why she changed. What was the catalyst? Or has she always felt this way? Was I being set up? Was I betrayed or being betrayed? Or was she really looking for a “rescuer” or “savior” of sorts, and pulled all the stops just to get one? Was lying part of that plan? Could it be she really has no idea what she wants?
This is how I see it: I feel like she was on a man hunt all along. She scoped me out at the restaurant, and played me. It took a long time, but when we finally had our first date, she told me what I wanted to hear and in a way, I fell for it. Some time after that, she eased her true intentions into the picture. The second date was all about fun. We’d gotten past the awkward beginning, so now it was easier to get physical. I think she was expecting me to a make a move, or go a lot farther a lot faster than I was going. I mean it was only the second date, and it took six weeks to make it happen. I think she was becoming frustrated, wanting this to move along a lot faster. She had a mental lapse and forgot that I was able to read her Facebook page. Something started her day off wrong, her frustration with me exacerbated it, and she unloaded online, exposing her true colors about her situation, lamenting her single lifestyle. I chimed in, it surprised her, and she reacted hastily out of embarrassment, basically hanging up on me. Ha! Maybe I deserved it. I don’t know.
I know I am writing while emotionally charged. But as I do, I find myself cooling off. I think I will just drop this entire issue. That’s what I’ll do. I will leave the ball in her court. She’s moved on from the restaurant. She knows I saw her post, and she dropped me from her friends list. She has my cell phone number, but she’s probably embarrassed so I doubt she’ll call. I have no email address for her. I would like an explanation to clear some confusion, but she really doesn’t owe me one. I was never going to be the man who shares her life like she apparently wanted anyway. My intention was to date, play, and have fun. Maybe she fully realized that after the second date. But I know she knew that already because of our first date.
No. There shall be no third date. Still, it was fun while it lasted.