This is my first post, so bear with me!
I am currently fully submerged in an absolutely wonderful relationship. I have been dating my boyfriend for just over two years and things couldn’t be better. Having met just a few weeks before he graduated from college, we had to learn a lot about each other in a very short amount of time. When we both decided that we wanted to make it work. Well … it worked. He is my best friend in all aspects of the term. He makes me laugh with his inappropriate jokes in public told only to me and makes me cry (in a good way!) by telling me how much he loves me. I still get butterflies when he kisses me goodnight.
For the first year we stayed in the “honeymoon” stage. His job allowed him to travel all over the country, and it was nice knowing that I was the first person he wanted to call when exploring a new city all on his own. Every second we could spend together was used to lock ourselves in my apartment. During the second year we became more realistic, starting to discuss (and sometimes argue) about things that were really important. In my opinion, this has been the better half. Although I don’t love the bad moods, I know that its just part of being in a relationship. We started talking about marriage early on … after a few months. Even though we started talking about it, we both knew that we wanted to wait to get married for at least a few years (we were only twenty-one and twenty-two at the time). I love knowing that I can be so open with him … even about getting married! We’re both on the same page when it comes to popping the question. One thing he has been suggesting recently is the thought of moving in together. At first I gave a resounding “ no”… if you want to live together why not just get married, right? Through all of this he has been very supportive, he wants it to be a mutual decision rather than pressuring me into it. Now I’m not sure what I want to do …
I grew up in a very religious home. My parents took us to church every Sunday and taught us that even though we all have troubles and make mistakes that our faith must come first. Since this is my first serious relationship, my mom has been dropping CONSTANT little hints about how she feels about premarital sex, marriage, moving in together … etc.
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard her say, “ why buy the milk when you can get the cow for free?” Well sorry mom, but the cow is out of the pasture. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend about a month after I met him. (Sorry if that’s too much info!) My mom and I are on the same page for the marriage thing, it has to be when you’re both ready. As for moving in she’s even gone so far as to say “There is no reason for a man to marry you if he’s getting everything he wants already.”(I know that isn’t true … don’t hate her, she means well! She’s just a LOT more conservative than most.) My dilemma when it comes to moving in is that I can’t distinguish between my mom’s opinion ingrained in me and my own. I know that your own opinions are definitely effected by what your parents teach you, but I’m not sure if I’m uneasy about moving in with my boyfriend because my MOM is telling me to do so or if I’m having doubts. I love her so much and want her to be happy, but I know there comes a point when I need to decide on my own.
My significant other has TOLD me that he will marry me, he just wants to wait until he can afford the ring/wedding he wants to give me. We’re also both looking at going to graduate school (business for him, med for me) so finances will become a burden in the near future. Even those financial issues have been discussed, we’ve talked about one of us going to school while the other is working and saving money (if possible). Already we discuss our lives two, ten, twenty years down the road. Also, we live across the street from each other right now. It’s ridiculous, but I moved to the city before he did … and it just worked out that way. Combined we pay a ridiculous amount for rent, especially since we spend a LOT of time at one another’s apartments. Does moving in together make sense, or will I regret it when we get back from our wedding and realize that nothing has changed?
Thanks for reading! Any comments or thoughts you have would be awesome.