Yet He Loves Me So

+ enlarge

         By all means when we think of young ones being in love with think of them as merely being infatuated or for the sake of idleness but I have my share of prejudice in this matter and also my own perpetual experience. I am not like most young lady’s these days; most of them are just dating for the sake of attention… I am guilty as charged for I have at times idled myself with infatuation and ended up with a shattered heart. You may be tempted to say “aww… poor girl but its ok, everyone gets into broken relationships at times”, unfortunately I am not looking for any empathy because it has occurred to me at least five times. I have learned my lesson but along with that I have also acquired a paranoia and depressive syndrome. However, the purpose of my work is not to lament on how broken I was and how stupid some men are, it is more like a personal evaluation I am doing. It is not necessarily to entertain individuals but you are always welcomed to read and hopefully it might be useful to you

I am in love with someone who is rather different from me in many ways but somehow we just flow together… we are the ying and yang of each other. I know it is not a mere infatuation because if it is I would have left him already. We’ve been together long enough to know each other’s faults; therefore I am evaluating our relationship these days. I found some interesting facts why I do not deserve his outmost attention, but yet he loves me so. It all occurred that things I thought was able to break or cause disdain on our relationship is minute and unimportant to in his opinion… I know at times he did and still does laugh at my way of thinking. The following are what have happened in our time together:


1.)    I complained of my insignificance in society

If you do not know me personally I must explain that I am born into a noble family of my tribe in Taiwan. My ancestors were all chiefs and aristocrats so that makes me like a princess. Even though it makes me proud of my heritage and culture but it also brings me shame and embarrassment because it is merely a title I hold and nothing else! Nothing else tell you, nada, zero, nein! All the glamour and valuables have been given to the heiress and I am just an empty pocketed princess. I have no social connections ever since we lost almost everything in saving my brother. I feel like I am a nobody and in receiving his love was rather too much to ask for. All that I am is merely a gentleman’s daughter who is rather plain and simple… but yet he still loves me dearly.


2.)    He deserves someone much prettier and ladylike

Have you are grew up with a bunch of cousins or even sisters who are 10X, 50X or even 100X prettier than you? Having ballet lessons, music lessons and language lessons incorporated into your “curriculum” of growing up? Trust me you don’t want to go through that or even let your own child to go through my suffering. I have learnt a great deal thankfully but it has also degraded myself esteem because all what they were doing was for the sake of declaring who have the most beautiful, most courteous, most etiquette, most graceful… ok you get the picture. It’s like we were being criticized a lot, every damn day actually- at parties, music recitals and report card days! As a result I always criticize myself in front of him and he would stare at me in horror and would soothe and tell me that I am the fairest of them all. Due to all my ill-opinion of myself I thought that he would run away from this crazy woman who always gives herself critic… yet he loves dearly.


3.)    My stubbornness is my greatest flaw

I know that I have enough charisma to get people to get things done my way (not that I am mean but I know how to succeed in accomplishing almost everything… yeah I am 100% Taurus) but there are a few people who won’t budge or fall right into my plans… unfortunately he is one of them. Maybe that is one of the reason why I am very attracted to him because I have never met someone who isn’t afraid to voice his opinion and disagree with me when necessary. I have a habit of dominating and being stubborn but he sort of changed everything… which is rather ironic. Ironic in the sense that some people expected me to influence him (maybe I did) but he influenced me a lot and I learnt a great deal from him and being with him. Even though I can be so hard headed and I assume very difficult to love… but yet he loves me dearly.


4.)    Drama! Drama!

My life is a soap opera, filled with unpleasant and unwanted events… almost too frequently. One day my sister marries someone I despise, the next day I found out that my friend died, a dying cousin, another turned bisexual and another diagnosed with cancer and I am surprised that he has endured everything. He is utterly understanding and forgiving… a side of him not publicly seen. I really didn’t mean to seem too dramatic but I am a very sensitive and loving person who cares about all my friends. Sometimes I would classify myself as a lunatic who just have too much on my mind… I was afraid of losing him because of how much a humanitarian person I am. I really try my best to tone down the drama but my friends seem to be dying or getting into trouble that I have my share of worrying… but yet he loves me dearly.


            I really don’t know what keeps him going… I guess he really do love me as much as I love him. It is rather strange for me to love someone who is by all means not what I expected. I always thought I would have a dreamy and charming young man… but I ended up with the best and maybe I have done something GOOD that God remembered to place him in my life’s chapter. I guess I am wasting my time thinking about how imperfect I am… but you know what I discovered something after writing this. LOVE IS NEVER PERFECTBUT IS THE WANTING OF BEING WITH EACH OTHER NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCES AND THE TIME WE TAKE TO TUNE OURSELVES TOGETHER IN A BEAUTIFUL AND HARMONIOUS TUNE. LOVE DOES NOT SPROUT OVERNIGHT… IT TAKES TIME TO GROW AND THERE IS NO NEED TO MAKE HASTEALWAYS TAKE TIME TO CHERISH WHAT YOU HAVE AND WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE. LOVE OVERLOOKS EVERYTHING THAT MAKES US FEEL INADEQUATE OF RECEIVING IT… LOVE IS FOR EVERYONE… NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE IN SOCIETY, NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK… IT IS NOT ONLY FOR THE WELL ACCOMPLISHED, THE GRACEFUL AND THE ETIQUETTELOVE IS LOVE FOR HEAVENS SAKE, IT SHOULD NEVER BE JUDGED!


Loading comments...