(Movie man voice) In a world … where dating profiles read like cereal boxes … nobody gets the dates they deserve …
I’ve read a metric bazillion dating profiles in my time as an online dating coach, and about 90 percent are yawn worthy. Do you think you’re part of the other 10 percent? Think again.
Most people write a dating profile that reads a bit like a cereal box. Have you seen the following claims on a dating profile (maybe yours)?
The Cereal Box Dating Profile
Healthy: “I like to take care of my body and you should, too.”
Balanced: “I love to get dressed for a night out or wear PJs for a movie at home.”
Wholesome: “Family is really important to me. I don’t know what I’d do without the support and love of my parents and siblings.”
Mom-approved: “Best of all, your parents will love me.”
Sure, these are all things that you might value in a date, but we eat cereal every day. It’s not exciting. It’s not unique. It’s not interesting. It’s just … okay. Pair a cereal box profile with photos of a regular Joe (or Jane), and what do you get? Not a whole lot of emails from potential dates, that’s what!
Learn A Lesson From The Movies
The film industry knows what they’re doing. How many times have you seen a trailer and been totally psyched to see the movie? It has your favorite actor, it’s based on your favorite novel, or it has lots of explosions. You know in a minute or three whether or not it’s a movie you’d be interested in seeing.
Previews work by showing you snippets of the best parts of the movie. You meet the protagonist, and you get a preview of their story. If it’s going to be a funny movie, there are some quick quips. If it’s going to be a summer blockbuster, there are cars exploding and people leaping away just in the nick of time.
What’s Your Trailer?
Your life may not seem as exciting as a summer blockbuster (and I certainly hope there are fewer explosions!), but it’s interesting and unique. Think about the little things that make you who you are, and write those into your dating profile.
Even little things give a glimpse of your character. When I was dating, my profile described me riding my shopping cart across the parking lot at Publix supermarket (you’re never too old!). Many of the emails I got from men referenced that part of my profile as a reason why they emailed me.
Take your cereal box claims and beef them up with specifics:
Old: “I like to take care of my body and you should, too.”
New: “I’m not sure what I like most about my morning run—the heart pumping exercise or the heart stoppingly beautiful sunrises.”
Old: “I love to get dressed for a night out or wear PJs for a movie at home.”
New: “My best friend knows me better than anyone else. For my birthday last month, she got me tickets to the opera and a new pair of fuzzy bunny slippers.”
Old: “Family is really important to me. I don’t know what I’d do without the support and love of my parents and siblings.”
New: “Now that we’re adults, my sister and I are best friends. It might also help that our closets are 300 miles apart—she always stole my favorite clothes!”
A Movie Trailer Profile Always Does Its Job
Not every movie trailer is going to thrill you and make you mark opening day on your calendar. If you rewrite your dating profile (or have my staff do it for you), it’s not going to magically attract every single on your dating site.
And it shouldn’t.
If your dating profile is written like a good trailer, it will intrigue the kind of person who will find you interesting, attractive, and worth getting to know better.
Steps for Success
1. Read your current dating profile and mark the boring cereal box phrases. Make notes on how you can beef them up by being more specific.
2. Find little snippets of your life that show off your character. Write about those.
3. Don’t be afraid to show yourself off. Self-confidence is sexy and will draw in exactly the kind of people that are good matches for you.
By E. Foley of Geek’s Dream Girl for Cupid’s Pulse