This last weekend we went camping and I was astonished at how much different and peaceful I felt compared to my everyday life. I found myself longing for more simplicity in my life. There was a time when lying underneath the stars was more important to me than how many visitors my Web site had last month. While that may sound superficial, I know I have followed my heart 100 percent to get where I am today.
The words of truth are always paradoxical.—Lao Tzu
So today I am faced with the task of “getting back into the swing of things,” yet I don’t want to lose the peace I experienced this past weekend.
By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.—Lao Tzu
Okay, so I shouldn’t hold onto anything, even peace. I should let it go—I get that. What I don’t get is how. How do you let go of things that feel so important that your life depends on it? My business almost feels like a spiritual journey at times, especially when I focus on our goal of contributing to our community. I get confused because sometimes I feel like I give more to others than I give to myself.
To realize that you do not understand is a virtue; Not to realize that you do not understand is a defect.—Lao Tzu
Great. So I don’t understand. Yet I am tasked with moving forward regardless. I must continue to build my business; I know in my heart it is what I was born to do. Yet I don’t know what to let go of, and I don’t understand what to do next, and am beginning to wonder WTH I am doing. I’m stuck.
“Let’s consider a reevaluation of the situation in which we assume that the stuckness now occurring, the zero of consciousness, isn’t the worst of all possible situations, but the best possible situation you could be in. After all, it’s exactly this stuckness that Zen Buddhists go to so much trouble to induce; through koans, deep breathing, sitting still and the like. Your mind is empty, you have a “hollow-flexible” attitude of “beginner’s mind”. You’re right at the front end of the train of knowledge, at the track of reality itself. Consider, for a change, that this is a moment to be not feared but cultivated. If your mind is truly, profoundly stuck, then you may be much better off than when it was loaded with ideas.
“The solution to the problem often at first seems unimportant or undesirable, but the state of stuckness allows it, in time, to assume its true importance. It seemed small because your previous rigid evaluation which led to the stuckness made it small.
“But now consider the fact that no matter how hard you try to hang on to it, this stuckness is bound to disappear. Your mind will naturally and freely move toward a solution. Unless you are a real master at staying stuck you can’t prevent this. The fear of stuckness is needless because the longer you stay stuck the more you see the Quality-reality that gets you unstuck every time. What’s really been getting you stuck is the running from the stuckness through the cars of your train of knowledge looking for a solution that is out in front of the train.
“Stuckness shouldn’t be avoided. It’s the psychic predecessor of all real understanding. An egoless acceptance of stuckness is a key to an understanding of all Quality, in mechanical work as in other endeavors.”—Robert M. Pirsig, Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Okay, so maybe I am where I am supposed to be. But I don’t like it. This is the hardest part of being an entrepreneur. Knowing there is no one to follow, yet you might just lead yourself into disaster. The wall of self-doubt can be suffocating at times.
Where there is great doubt, there will be great awakening; small doubt, small awakening, no doubt, no awakening.—Lao Tzu
Heh. Guess I am on the right track, then.