My heart is heavy right now for the depressed people in our world and especially in my city. Being a woman who has battled depression, my heart just breaks for others struggling with the same thing. It comes out of people in so many different ways. Eating disorders, drugs, alcohol, isolation, cutting, sex, bitterness, anger … the list could go on and on. Mine came through guilt.
I had a rough two and half years and saw and experienced things no one should have to. But my depression was an after math of me removing myself from the situation. My body was having extreme difficulties processing the emotional and physical blows I had given to myself. So like any normal person, I stuffed it all down. But it managed to find a way to show itself. I lost my appetite. I would eat but not enough. I got incredibly skinny. Isolation and sleep became a very common part of my usually outgoing life. Then the panic attacks started. Luckily, I was smart enough to recognize that there was a deeper issue going on than just the physical, so I went to a counselor and a nutritional oncologist. The counselor helped me sort through my guilt ridden past and move on to a hope filled future and my nutritionist helped me naturally beat my panic attacks. There are days when I can feel myself slipping, but I just have to remember that there is something and someone bigger than my problems and I just have to trust Him with whatever is going on.
Depression runs in my family. My dad struggles with it. My aunt deals with it. It’s just a part of our lives that we have to learn to deal with and combat. My battle is still ongoing but I feel like the fight is mostly won. I have such a passion and heart for woman who battle with this terrible disease. The pain and loneliness that comes from it are unexplainable and you can’t even really describe what is going on to others. But there is help. And sometimes it is just recognizing that you even have it. I was in denial for the longest time, but once I realized what was going on, I could face it and meet it head on with the help of some very trusted people and dear friends.
If you are dealing with this, know you are not alone. I am sure you have heard that many times, but this is coming from a girl who has been through the fire and has come out victorious. You can do it. You can beat it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. But you cannot do it alone. You can’t. You need someone to hold your hand as you walk through it and at times someone to pick you up and carry you when it gets too hard to go on. And of course, someone to give you a big hug when you get to the other side. My heart’s cry is you will do what you need to do to get through it. Don’t let someone downplay your feelings. Do what you need to do for you. No one else, just you.
Your broken spirit can be made new again.