So my best friend Kristin came in town this weekend. We went out Friday night to a wine bar and then to another bar that tends to be a little on the dirty side if you get there too early. But we had a great time anyways. The wine bar was great. A great place to go with your girlfriends to just chat and catch up. But for some reason, I had this sign on my shirt that said, “If you are weird, please come hit on me and give me your best pick up line.”
“I’m not really good at this but I noticed you were the prettiest girl in this bar,” then he proceeds to slide his arm tightly around my waist and lead me back to his table of friends without another word. Who does this? And it’s not like he wasn’t cute, because he was, but my gosh! Really? So after pushing his hand off my hip repeatedly, I was able to walk back to my friends.
“Ashley, do you know Soldier Boy?” And then right there in the bar he does the dance to the chorus of Soldier Boy. Again, who does this? I busted out laughing in this guy’s face after he did the first couple of moves, thinking he was kidding, but oh no! He wasn’t. He got offended that I laughed, but it was funny. And this guy was cute too.
What is coming over attractive single men? Is something being put in there drinks to make them act like this? Are there girls out there who are making them believe that this is the way to pick up girls? Because you know what, it isn’t. But it does leave me with a funny story. Kristin and I ended up dancing with each other and this other gay guy for the rest of the night. He was hilarious and we had a great time with him. Marvin. That was his name. And you know, he looked like a Marvin. And at least Marvin was not being like every other man at the bar.
Single guys out there … get over yourself and just be normal. I’m standing up for single women everywhere. Don’t touch us uncomfortably and please do not dance for us. And this was only one night. Goodness. I guess all the normal guys really are taken.