Okay, so my girlfriend and I have been together now nearly three years. We have had many ups and downs, to include her finalizing her divorce. No, I had nothing to do with the divorce, she was in mid stride when I came around. We have a daughter together, nine months old, and she has three more. Yes, four kids, three dogs, and a cat. A very full apartment.
Anyway, I have never been in a truly serious relationship with anyone. She of course has. I am twenty-three, she is twenty-nine. Well I have had insecurity issues with her since we got serious. She has kids and an ex husband so yes, he is around. I am very uncomfortable with it because in the past I have stumbled upon a few things that I was not happy with. There were some inappropriate text messages that she said he must have sent from her phone before he deployed because he has done it before. In a letter she sent to him, she mentioned that she missed him being around since he was deployed. When he came back, she even cooked him dinner and didn’t see a problem with that.
Well it has been nearly a year or so since all of this has happened and I am just not happy. Things don’t seem to move in our direction at all. I work nights and take care of our daughter and make sure the other kids are off to school. I see my girlfriend for at most thirty minutes a day, three days a week. And the weekends are not much better.
I want to spend time with her but lately we have been doing nothing but arguing. I personally think she bends over backward for her ex husband just for the sake of their kids, or so she says. Personally, I don’t see a reason to spend anymore time than necessary drop of kids and certainly no reason to be inside either persons place for any amount of time. Now with working nights I have no clue what goes on at home. I don’t know if when he drops the kids off if he is really over a few minutes or hours. I have no clue if they all have dinner together or not. She says they don’t but I don’t trust her 100 percent.
We are both can be set in our ways and she says I am controlling when really it boils down to not trusting her. I am not trying to make it out as her being the bad person, but what should I do? We have gotten into arguments and she has been really nasty about it. I am worried that if I do leave that I will never get to see my daughter again or she will try to make it so my paycheck goes to her. Other than the roof over my daughters head, I pay for everything. And its not like I don’t have a place, my house, not big enough, is sitting empty waiting to be sold! I don’t see things changing with the arrangement with the ex and I know I won’t be happy if it doesn’t but I want things to work but just don’t see it happening. What should I do?