I’ve never been big on video games, or computer games, or whatever they’re called these days. I mean, sure, back in school, I played my share of Pong and Ms. Pac-Man. And, yes, currently, when I’m sitting at my laptop with a bad case of writer’s block, I sometimes click on the Solitaire icon and play a few hands. But, until somebody told me, I didn’t even know that those Lara Croft: Tomb Raider movies were based on a video game. Computer game? Whatever. So, believe me, no one is more surprised than I am, as I write these words: my name is Gloria, and I am a Wii-aholic.
Like most addictions, it really did begin innocently enough, when I was just hanging out with some friends...
Christine: “Did I tell you? Rande scored us a Wii.”
Me: “A what?”
Rande: “A Wii. You’ve never tried it?”
Christine: “This is going to blow your mind.”
At first, I just did it to go along with the crowd. I mean, everybody was doing it, and I didn’t want to feel left out. To tell you the truth, I didn’t even think that I’d like it all that much. I figured that I’d try it once, and that would be the end of it.
My friends hooked me up, and I tried the baseball…
Christine: “Didn’t I tell you?”
Me: “This is amazing!”
At that point, I probably could have walked away if I had wanted to. But—I didn’t want to! I wanted another hit, and another hit, and another. The rush was incredible. Before I knew it, I was golfing, too. And bowling. Pretty soon, it didn’t even matter what sport it was. Boxing? Sounds good to Mii!
Christine was the first to notice that I might have a little bit of a problem…
Christine: “Don’t you think you’ve had enough for one day?”
Mii: “What are you talking about? I can handle it.”
She just shook her head.
Christine: “You’re going to be feeling it tomorrow.”
She was right. The next morning, my shoulder was throbbing. Still, all I could think about was getting my next fix. I called my friends…
Mii: “If I come over, can you hook me up again?”
Rande: “Gee, sorry, but we’re just on our way out.”
Clearly, these so-called friends were not going to be a reliable connection. I needed to score my own Wii. I made some inquiries and found out who the local dealers were…
Mii: “I want to buy a Wii.”
The guy at Best Buy just laughed.
Best Buy Guy: “Sorry. I’m sold out.”
But then, I think he took pity on Mii. He leaned in confidentially.
Best Buy Guy: “I might be getting another shipment tomorrow.”
So, there I was, hitting the streets in the early hours of the morning, hoping that this guy really would have the merchandise, as promised. Several other people were already there when I arrived. They looked desperate, almost crazed, from Wii-thdrawal. And, all at once, I realized that I must look just like them. I had started out controlling the remote, but now, the remote was controlling Mii.
Recognizing that you have a problem is the first step, but I know that I have a long road ahead of Mii—I mean, me—if I’m truly going to live a Wii-free life. For now, I’m just taking it one day at a time…
Photo: Rayman Raving Rabbids wallpaper