So things have changed since my original post and I feel compelled to share.
I have moved closer to work so I no longer have my enormous commute! It’s very exciting and I feel like a big girl again now that I don’t have that uncomfortable feeling of being indebted to my sister. I buy big girl things like Windex, Band-Aids, and bathroom floor mats—since, for now, that’s about all I can afford. Still, it feels good to be back.
I went home for the holidays and it really gave me a jolt of inspiration. My friends are beautiful, smart, successful women … and oh wait, so am I! I almost forgot. Granted I still make the puny salary and I’m still a low woman on the totem pole, but change is in the air and I’ve started inquiring around for new job possibilities. (I know, good luck in this economy!)
I’ve also rethought my career path and acknowledged that perhaps I’d be better suited for something different than my oh-so-certain original plan. I sat down and had two weeks of thorough, excruciating, terrifying self-evaluation and I finally made a decision—like a big girl. I’m so glad that it still feels like the right one.
So now, what about men? I knew you were wondering …
I’m still taking it slow and steady; I’ll have a lot going on when I go back to school and keep my full time job. No fear, I still have news. I’m a recycler at heart, especially boyfriends. I love going back and dwelling, lingering and rehashing. Today I did something totally unprecedented and out of character—I asked a boy I barely know on a date. It only took weeks of chatting and knowing with near certainty that he’d say yes, but that’s not my point, now is it? The point is, I’ve found me again and I may even be ready to open this fragile yet determined new person up to love again. Wish me luck!