I have spent some time in my professional life apologizing for my passion.
Or, as men define it, “emotions.”
You know, for that vim and vigor that causes your nose to turn red when you believe in something, like your opinion, your idea, or yourself? Those feelings that cause your voice to change just a bit and your ears to get hot and somehow make you, if you have a “Vuv,” look like you care too much?
Men get “loud” or “angry” or “intense” … women get “excited” and for that, we frequently say, “I’m sorry.”
I don’t want to do that anymore.
The truth I have uncovered in my forties is profound: wherever I go, there I am.
I bring all of me to the table in all that I do. For years I have heard the “Find your balance” mantra and it now occurs to me that it doesn’t get us where we want to be. If we want careers and/or to pursue interests and achieve personal and life goals, then given technology, which allows you to be in the virtual workplace wherever you are, I say the mantra’s gotta change. “Find your blend,” is more like it! ’Cause my reality is I don’t lead a balanced life, I lead a blended one.
To people of both genders who speak the “balance language” and say, “I am (this) person at home and I am (this) person at work,” I ask, do you really know who you are?
Your personality, your “stuff,” your pride, your “Type-A-ness,” your humor, your Vuv and your Vuv-ish thoughts and countless other parts of you, good and bad … are raising your kids and go to the “office” with you, “they” are in your personal relationships and your work relationships, “they” define your communication skills, and all those parts are evolving and are arguably always in need of improvement, but they are also always part of the reason you were hired or are good at certain things or are best suited to be doing what you’re doing.
Why should anyone ever say they are sorry for that? And not to “pull the gender card,” but when do you recall hearing a man say they were sorry for that?
Alright, crying at work sucks but I don’t know five women who can say they have never done that. It is what it is … and if feeling a certain way brings you to tears then it brings you to tears … in your home and in your office and changing that has more to do with altering your reactions than what your physical surroundings are.
So I am gonna bring it ladies. I’m gonna shake it when I want to and I’m gonna blend it the best I can, everywhere I can.
Join me, please.