Okay, so what? So what that you’re over fifty-five? So what that you’re widowed or divorced? Does that mean you’re condemned to be alone forever? No.
But where do you begin? Granted, the process of dating at our age can seem a bit like a song in minor key. Most of us are riddled with a case of the “not quites”: not quite fat, not quite skinny, not quite rich, not quite poor, not quite successful, not quite unsuccessful.
STOP, because what you see as a “not quite” in yourself is in fact a wildly attractive quality to someone out there.
But you definitely need to rid yourself of that “not quite” mindset. You need to see yourself as a person who is rife with great stuff to offer, stuff that only you, with your rich and robust life, can bring to the table.
Here’s how to get back into the game no matter what your age:
1. To thine own self be true: That’s right. Work on yourself. Do what makes you feel good. Go get your hair styled and colored. Get a pedicure or manicure. Buy a new outfit that makes you feel fabulous. Start an exercise program or ramp up your current one. Eat better. Take hot baths at night. Surround yourself with candlelight. Put on some music and sip a glass of your favorite wine. Got the picture? Nurture yourself and you’ll settle for nothing less than someone who’ll do the same.
2. Decide what you want in a person: This is your game, and don’t you forget it. You’ve lived a full and wonderful life, albeit with a few relationship humps to get over. But it’s time for happiness. Make a list of what you want in a person. Make another list of what you don’t want. (Mind you, these will be different than the lists you made when you were twenty-five and that’s the way it should be.) Put the two lists away and every time you meet someone, pull them out and take a read.
3. Decide what you want in a relationship: Get this clear in your head from the get-go. Do you want marriage? A casual friendship? A roommate? Your plan can always change, but it’s better to have a plan than to get swept along by the raging love current.
4. Think about where you’ll be most comfortable meeting people: To decide, you might want to talk to people your age to find out their feelings about the different options. Talk to someone who has done online dating and someone who has met someone in a more conventional way. If you’re thinking about online dating, there are even a few, highly regarded sites just for seniors: laavalife.com  and seniorsfriendfinder.com 
5. Be positive: Oh, how important this one is and that’s why “to thine own self” is so critical. If you’re not being positive in the way you treat yourself, your outlook is certainly going to reflect that. So get rid of those negative thoughts about yourself, your past marriage(s), your life. For every time you think something negative, counter it with the polar positive of the same thought.
Who the heck am I do be telling you all this? I’ve been in the singles chair a few times in my life, and not when I was just a sweet young thing. I’ve even written a book, Why I Hate to Date Online  (that’s a whole other story). After many, many, many disappointments, lots of drama, and several dead-ends, I found my life partner. And yes, I found him online. And yes, we’re both fifty-five. And yes, I’m five-foot-ten and he’s five-foot-six. And yes, he’s deaf and I’m hearing. But you know what? It works. And you know what else? It can work for you, too.