Slowly but surely, I am turning into my mother. I hear things come out of my mouth sometimes, and I look around for her. I look around to see where in the room she was when the sentence came out of her mouth, only to realize that it actually came out of mine.
However, today, when I was snacking on Cracklin‘ Oat Bran and drinking Diet Pepsi, I really, truly felt as if I was becoming my mother. If I am, it isn’t a bad thing. My mom is fabulous. It’s just that I used to curse the ground that Cracklin‘ Oat Bran and Diet Pepsi stood on. I know that it all sounds so dramatic: To say you cursed the ground a cereal and beverage walked on, but I’m pretty sure I did.
Cracklin‘ Oat Bran and Diet Pepsi, combined, made a nice fuel for my mother. I think she ran on them. Crunching the Oat Bran, drinking the Diet Pepsi and making sure we were kept inline. I sort of wonder if she really liked either of them, or if she just liked it, because it was one of the only things that we didn’t like and wouldn’t drink or eat.
Like my mother, I am also sure that having someone else steal your last Diet Pepsi, specifically the Diet Pepsi you had saved for your morning drink, would result in some sort interrogation: Did you take the last Diet Pepsi? Why? You don’t even like Diet Pepsi? I don’t understand this. You know I need Diet Pepsi when I wake up. You don’t even like the Diet Pepsi. There’s plenty for you to drink in the refrigerator.
“Nothing else was as cold.” I would reply.
“KIDS!” She would say in a semi-serious way. Jokingly enough to let you know she wasn’t mad, but serious enough to let you know that taking the last Diet Pepsi just because it was cold was not a very nice thing to do.
There are other times, too, when I feel like I am slowly but surely morphing into my mother. Like when I murmur the same sentences she would to me. The best example is when Adam or Allie can’t find something they are looking for, and my immediate response is “OPEN YOUR EYES.” I never understood why mother would suggest such a thing when I was a kid. But now, I totally understand. Because there are times when Adam or Allie are looking for things that are right in front of their faces, and I’m all—seriously? Were their eyes closed? How did they miss that? IT WAS RIGHT THERE.
My sudden devotion to specific household products I use is another sign that I am becoming her. I have a certain laundry detergent. A certain dishwashing soap. A certain dishwashing machine detergent. All from which I do not stray. My mom’s devotion to particular products is almost admirable. Once she finds one she likes, she is ridiculously faithful to it.
Then there’s the robe wearing. I’ve taken to wearing this obscenely soft, white terry cloth robe when I’m at home. I wear it like a little old lady, shivering and in need of robe ensconced warmth.
I could honestly go on and on. But enough about me.
Are you becoming the person that raised you?
Originally published on ShamelesslySassy