“How are you? Both A and B are married already. How about you?” This was asked by a friend. This question is one of the most dreaded questions one dares to ask me every now and then.
Actually, it’s not only A and B are married now but most of my friends—my three high school best friends. Although, some, if not married, are in a serious relationship, two of us out of ten, I guess two are still single, unattached up to now, and that’s just so sad.
I would like to answer her in two years since I really intend to marry at the age of thirty but I’m twenty-eight now, turning twenty-nine this year and I’m not even in a relationship to consider getting married in two years time. I have two sisters younger than me. My sister was married last year and the other one plans to get married next year. So if I am getting married next year, in case someone comes along to marry me, I have to postpone it up to year 2011 because they say, siblings can’t marry successively the same year. It’s bad luck! So hopefully, I will get married at the age of thirty-one, which is a year past my ideal marrying age.
You know, it doesn’t really matter if I marry at the age of thirty-one or thirty-two years as long as there is someone who is willing to marry me (of course, someone I am in love with and who is in love with me), but what’s sad is that there is even none to begin with and that’s the most depressing fact.
I can’t sleep much for two days now because I’ve been thinking about this thirty-six-year-old guy I met in chat who had been nice, sweet, and caring to me for the past two years now, in fact he even sent me a Valentine’s present. But I just don’t where our friendship would lead us to.
He has a girlfriend but says she’s not the right girl yet so he isn’t marrying her yet. He says he likes me and I’m special to him but I just don’t know why he can leave his girlfriend and visit me here. He says he misses me but he doesn’t even call me. I know we live in two different worlds—he’s from the United States and I’m from the Philippines, but I don’t see that a problem but I know a lot of American guys who visited a Filipina they like, get to know her, and married her eventually. If a guy really likes a girl, he would do anything to see her. And if he’s serious, he would visit her and marry her.
He says he is living in a fast world where work is the most important thing in his life now, but he is taking it slow when it comes to us. Or maybe, he doesn’t like me that much to begin with.
What do I like about him? Not just because he is American and has good genes, but he is really sweet and caring. He takes time out of his busy schedule just to talk to me for five to ten minutes to ask me how am I … what’s keeping me busy, etc.
Later on, I found out that aside from his good looks, he is a hard worker but tries to attend Catholic masses every Sunday. I like spiritual guys. I wanted to think he might be the one but what if he turned out to be not? I’m scared to invest my time and feelings again to somebody because I fear it would only lead me nowhere. I’ve had other prospects before him but I lost interest because nothing even happened.
I hate to say “I wanted it to be him” because I think I’ve said it a million times to my love interests that’s why I wanted to take this season as an opportunity given to me by God to accomplish a lot of things.
As of today, I am doing well in my diet. I was successful not to eat rice for two days now. And I think this season of being Single is a time to improve myself and finish writing my romance stories.
My former crush and I are doing great as good friends. I remember how I wished God would give me an opportunity to know him and for him to get to know me but I am just happy we didn’t end up together because I realized we are just better of as friends.
Over time, I realized I only like his being a good singer, excellent guitarist and drummer, not so much on being a prolific writer because I prefer guys who are good in numbers, and his superb photographic skills, but he’s not just my ideal boyfriend or husband. And besides, he is getting married in two months time. So, I have to add him up to my long list of friends who are married, while I remain Single, for knows up to when.
I also realized that there are people who would only remain friends like we are now. Having a crush on someone doesn’t mean you have to end up with him, although I might reconsider if he courted me, but he didn’t.
Since a lot of my friends are asking me now on that dreaded question, I am feeling the pressure and impatience but am fervently praying that the man destined for me would come along soon. I don’t know what’s keeping him so long. Only God knows when and why.