My fiancé and I are getting married in August, and we are torn about whether we should invite one of our friends and his wife. We have been friends with him since college (nearly a decade) and he has been a wonderful, sweet, supportive, understanding friend, and husband. His wife, on the other hand, could not be less supportive or more selfish. Several months before their wedding, she told him that he had to stop talking to all of us because she found out that he had a minicrush on one of the girls in our group during our freshman year of college—long before he even met his wife. She said that we all reminded her of the “other” girl, who is happily married to someone else! She threatened to break off their engagement, so he cut all ties with us immediately. She eventually eased up, but things are definitely awkward for everyone.
We were quite surprised to receive an invitation to their wedding last year (none of our other friends did), but she did not even acknowledge our presence during the rehearsal or the big day. I would like to invite him to our wedding, and I would like him to feel comfortable bringing his wife. However, it is difficult for me to stomach the thought of someone attending our special day who has caused so much pain and heartbreak within my group of dear friends. I really want this day to be drama free, so what should we do?—Don’t Need the Drama Nina
Dear Don’t Need the Drama Nina,
This is a very tough situation, and I’m sorry to hear that this woman has caused so much heartache for your friends. Although your wedding is supposed to be about you and your husband, I do understand how political the day can be too. The decision is ultimately up to you, but have you thought about inviting them but seating them (far) away from your other friends so she doesn’t have an opportunity to make them feel uncomfortable?
I know this isn’t an easy decision, so perhaps you and your fiancé should write out a pro and con list to weigh your options. If you have some time to make the decision, maybe having a heart to heart with this woman would be beneficial, as it’s pretty clear by her behavior that she’s simply just jealous of you and your friends.
I know this is the last thing you need on your plate right now, so listen to your gut and make whatever decision will cause the least amount of drama. Good luck!