Sad, afraid of many things, but with a little hope I am here right now. Watching my empty hands trying to understand all the episodes of my life … my life which has passed so soon … Other women at my age could be worried now about her own family, own children, or husband or even thinking about to leave their jobs for retirement. Not me … I am now thinking about what I can do to pay my own place. Struggling and fighting to get a job or an opportunity to do something for a living.
Yes, I am crying again, holding my memories … the good ones and the bad ones. Yes, I remember my first day at grammar school it was a very happy day for me and I will always remember my classroom with many old desks and the children who were cutting paper with little scissors, painting drawings with crayola, or crying for their mother. I remember the piece of bread, juice, and the carton of milk they gave us for breakfast. I remember also that windy day walking home by myself wearing a blue coat. My parents? God bless them, they were always working to get food, as we were a big family.
Very quiet and always thinking in school, I was always away and afraid of boys when I was a teenager. My first kiss … it was when I was twenty-five years old. At that time I was working in a school and a man broke my heart. Then I preferred just thinking of men but I didn’t have any love relationship.
Friendship … I have had good friends who already have their own life.
I could tell you more things but I just want to say to everything and everybody, I also want to say to my life: please forgive me. Forgive me, God, for not doing the right things at the right place and on time. Forgive me for not being brave when I had to be, and for wasting all the opportunities that I had for success. Forgive me, for just see the love pass near me. Forgive me for doing many wrong things.
And if you also forgive me, I THANK YOU VERY MUCH. All that I need is love and that God gives me in life another opportunity.