Monogamist: The state of having one significant other for long periods of time.
I’m a monogamist. Always have been. People used to tell me that being an eternal monogamist was going to be bad for me. And for awhile it was. I dated a lot of guys, for way too long, but I learned things that I wouldn’t have otherwise. So when I look back I’m thankful for the men who have popped a squat in this life of mine and taught me a thing or two.
Bones was my first boyfriend (I call him that because he was 6’1" and 130 pounds.) I was all of thirteen and I jumped into love while other girls ran away from cooties. Bones and I were together all the time and when we weren’t we were begging out parents to drive us to our respectable houses so we could be together. I remember I broke up with bones when puberty hit and suddenly I was much heavier than he was and he likes to point it out. Total time together—one year.
When Bones left my life, I dated my friend who was three years my junior, already graduated from high school and completely enamored with now fifteen-year-old me. The Downer took me places, bought me things, and said nice things, but in the midst of it all he never seemed happy. He was a big, dark, looming cloud over my still innocent, fun life. I went from tight jeans and t-shirts to baggy pants and mesh long sleeves. I dyed my hair odd colors and listened to music I didn’t actually like at all. I changed myself for him and even after I caught him smoking pot behind my house, I thought he was perfect. Alas, two weeks later he broke up with me because of “our different maturity levels.” Looking back now I see it was him that lacked the maturity more than I. Total time together—eight months.
I can’t remember a long span of time when I was single. When the Downer left me for his love of weed, I shed my ratty clothes and I asked my mom to dye my hair back to brown and within days I couldn’t say no to The Jock. He played football, got straight A’s, was liked by everyone and he liked me! Me! The Jock did everything I had secretly wanted the Downer to do. He took me to school dances, even though he danced with himself more than he actually danced with me … he told me I was pretty, even though he spent time looking at his own reflection in any surface that allowed it … he liked to spend time with me, even though he spent most of our time together in ice baths “recuperating”“ while I sat alone watching the movies and eating all the popcorn. When I got an email from him saying he needed to “focus on himself and we should just be friends” I was more than willing to oblige. I don’t think he ever had a problem focusing on himself in the first place. Total time together—six months.