Oprah Winfrey said that, “Rejection from a man is often God’s protection.” So, don’t despair when you find yourself in an unrequited love situation. It’s just a quick fix from the Universe to save you time and further heartache. My friend Faliq used to say, very expressively, “You dodged a bullet!” (Totally makes me laugh.) In a totally unrelated note, I doubt in the effectiveness of self-help relationship and dating guides, such as the infamous He’s Just Not That Into You and Why Men Love Bitches. No one book can solve one big problem of love-matching humanity; it’s an unfair generalization of men, and it puts too high a standard on them, and ignores them of their own vulnerability and insecurities, and commonly, an even bigger fear of rejection. Most times, love is so vague, and surprising and uncontrollable, but most of all, it evolves. Emotions can change. My mother always said, “Never passionately hate someone. You will eventually fall in love with him.” Through experience, I learned that was true as well. 

There are two main schools of thought when it comes to finding love; some say it is something you pursue and you make happen. On the other hand, Diana Ross and The Supremes had other ideas. She sang, “Oh, you can’t hurry love. Oh, you just have to wait.” I think both are tried-and-true but the solution depends on what kind of person you are. Can you live with the insecurity of having pursued a man instead of having him pursued you? Or, can you stand to wait, not knowing if it might happen to you, or not happen at all? It’s up to you. Find it, wait for it, I say, if it is fated, it will be. 

Just before performing “Love Song For No One,” John Mayer had this to say about the song, “You just gotta wait your turn. He’s out there, she’s out there. They’re just learning what to contrast you against.” 

Need I say more? The right person is out there, but it just might not be the right time yet. Maybe he needs to learn a thing or two about women before he knows how to treat one right, and maybe you need to take a look at yourself in the mirror as well and deal with your own sh*t. But here’s a cool random fact: Do you know research found that the “right person” is usually someone already in your contact list? Maybe you need to double-check your mobile now, just to see if you missed anyone actually worthy of your time.

But the most important thing I learned through the lack of romantic love in my young adult life, was that I don’t need it. If you find that you’re incomplete and believes that finding that perfect match will fill up a void, you’re dead wrong. I was in your shoes once. Oprah Winfrey had this to say, “Married or single, if you’re looking for a sense of completion, I encourage you to look inward.” To connect with another human being is most definitely a human need, but the lack of it should not be detrimental to your state of happiness. I like to believe that, “Good things happen to those who wait,” and that something is worth having when you know how hard it was to find it in the first place. So why the hurry? Let the man or the girl get his/her act together, you get yours, and when you’re both ready, somehow, someway, the Universe will bring the two of you together … that’s what I like to believe.

(Part 1) [1] | Part 2