I go to a friends, my internet is down. He has a spare laptop. Turns out he also has a phone repairman visiting.
The repairs take up more time than my friend has. A broker, he has buildings to show in the city.
I knew this, had planned my time to leave when he did and set off on my own errands and meetings.
He announces—if I have to leave, you need to stay with him until he gets this done, you can’t leave him here alone.
Well, I had planned to set off, I say.
Well, you can stay, can’t you?
No internet at home for two days? Yeah, I can find things to do, I think.
Good thing for you my internet is out and I have time, I say.
Time? Like what else would you be doing?
He is a successful broker in the real estate business for twenty-two years.
He has his own firm.
I am a struggling newbie with lots of time to research the market but few clients.
So, implied in that, very much, is “your time is less important than mine.”
I have heard this before.
Many years prior, as a stay-at-home mom, I got that a lot from moms with more scheduled but not more busy or important lives. Mostly volunteer solicitations, but also—when my kid is sick, can the school call you? Etc.
A good friend who worked full time and co-sponsored a Girl Scout troop with me one autumn began to be cranky, full of off-the-cuff not quite cranky remarks, which escalated to cranky. Finally it came out she felt upstaged by the fact that I had time to volunteer at the schools, write little plays for the girls to perform, run out for crafts, etc. At the same time, she felt that since “you have more time than I do, you should let me do more of the fun stuff and you should be running around picking up juice boxes and stuff and handling dues.” Not that I minded those chores.
But I minded the idea behind it.
Gosh, I have the same hours in my day as you—twenty-four hours a day. That’s all I get.
Of course when people say—you have more time, what they really mean is not that at all … we all have the same time in our days, months, weeks. Our time in years unknown.
What they mean is—you have less important things to do with your time. Which is another way of saying—you are less important than me.
Ahhh … the folly of the busy to think busy is better.
No I answered back then: I have no time to do your chores you are too busy to do because I took the time long ago to organize my life so I did have time to sit on my back stairs and read a book, watch a rose grow slowly, live slow, savoring each bite.