You normally eat really healthily, but suddenly you have mad food cravings.
You can’t decide if you are craving salty, or sweet, or carbs. In fact, you just can’t decide what you want to eat. It all sounds good.
You didn’t work out because you just felt too fat.
You feel as if someone broke into your house last night and stole your mojo.
Your regular in-car cussing level of road rage has gone up five notches to the danger zone. You roll down your window and tell the big guy in the truck what you really think of his driving.
The next day you remember that incident and wonder why you’re still alive.
You read a story in the paper of a little girl happily reunited with her lost dog and cry your eyes out. You feel better after the weep, but you’re so tired, you need a nap.
You wonder why he isn’t more sympathetic when you’re feeling so low and giving you hugs and TLC. When he does, you wonder WHY MUST HE TOUCH ME?
You swear you’ve been really good for the last month, yet your jeans are tight around the waist. In fact, you have a distinct belly. And you’re sure it wasn’t there yesterday.
You open your closet again to look for the baggy dress/sweater/shirt that you would never ordinarily look at, but it feels so … safe.
A colleague says, “Oh, the boss was looking for you; he wanted to talk to you about your presentation.” You spend two hours fretting over (a) why your boss didn’t like it; (b) why you submitted such a lousy piece of work © is he going to fire you (d) did your colleague set this up so you would look bad? In fact, you’re pretty sure she did, because you’ve seen her kissing the boss’s ass, and you’re sure it’s part of a campaign to get ahead of you, and then you’ll be in trouble, because she’ll look better than you, and smarter than you, you’re sure she earns less and is cheaper than you, and she dresses well, everyone likes her, and really, why would anyone hire you, when you’re so useless and there are better people around? The boss then says casually while walking by “Hey I really liked your presentation.’
You feel so low you want to write a poem entitled “Despair” but can’t find the energy to do it.
You remind yourself that it’s that time of the month, and it will pass, but don’t have the pep to feel any better.
You’re so relieved when your period arrives, because at least PMS is over for another month!