You can learn a lot about yourself and dating when you go to your High School Reunion, especially your twentieth. For me, it was the realization of how much of an immature teenage girl I still am. Crap! At the ten-year reunion, everyone is still young, beautiful and posers. At your twentieth, it’s time to face the music of aging and reality. You could tell the ones who had “grown up” and the ones that needed to “shut up.” Unfortunately, I am one of the latter.
A thirty-eight, mother of two, successful entrepreneur, blah, blah, blah, you’d think, “Wow, that lady has got it together.” Wrong! I’m evolving. With the cold splash of reality hitting my face at the reunion, well, I realize that I still have a long way to go.
My reunion proved that I’m stuck in the need to impress others, and to prove myself. For instance, in preparation for the event, I felt it absolutely necessary to spend lots of money on a new outfit (which is ridiculous since I preach the benefits of frugality.) And, you might as well throw in the fact that I bought a new car only a week before the event. I’m sure that was a subconscious program working. Not that anyone was going to see my car, but that’s just me rationalizing. The thing is, is to wake up to my life.
Perfect example from the reunion, a successful friend of mine came over to say hello to me. See this in your mind: He sits down, his posture is relaxed, and he lounges back in his chair. My posture? Edge of my seat, leaning forward. Who was trying to impress who? Whose mouth was running at ninety miles per hour with a bunch of “look at me,” “aren’t I interesting,” “aren’t I a catch?” worthless crap all the way? You know what he did? At a break in the nonsensical chatter, he got up, gave me a hug, said, “You look great,” and then left. I was like, “What just happened?” Duh, the teenage girl strikes again just happened. What a jackass I was. I would have left long before he did, if I had to listen to me ramble on. He was just gracious enough to wait for a pause.
Can you see how this also translates to dating? I can, especially when you first meet someone. If you’re stuck in your teenage rut, and you’re really trying to date like an adult, then it’s no wonder your attempts are failing. Think about it. Teenagers want to fit in. They want mass approval. They are over-dramatic. They are, at most times, insecure. They tend to get into trouble. If I’m admitting to being an adult who is still like a teen, then above summary of a teenager is a hard pill to swallow. Who wants to date that?
The point is we have options for expressing ourselves. I/You don’t have to continue with a teenage rut, we can choose to have healthy, happy, long-lasting, adult relationships. Just be aware of your actions and how you express yourself. I’m not saying that I’ll or you’ll magically change overnight with this realization. But it’s a start. A good start!