Life happens on a need-to-know basis.
At first, this can seem frustrating, but it is actually an incredible gift. Life gives us exactly what we need in each moment to lead us exactly where we need to go and experience exactly what we need to experience. This is not simply a nice idea. As you comprehend the profundity of this, it can help you navigate any challenges with wisdom, grace, and finesse.
The mind wants to know why things happen the way they do. This is especially true when there is pain and suffering involved.
“Why am I being subject to this torture?”
“Have I done something to deserve this?”
“Why did he have an affair on me?”
“Why did she leave me?”
“Why did I lose all my money?”
“Why do I have to suffer so much?”
“Why did he get that promotion and not me?”
“Why did she get all of the attention when we were growing up?”
The mind asks this “why” question when the event is happening, and you probably won’t know the answer right away. This is especially true when you are going through painful, cataclysmic times: those times in life where everything seems to implode around you, leaving you feeling stranded, lost, and completely confused.
During these times, it is helpful to trust in the process as much as possible. Hold onto the idea that there is a reason, that the universe has a reason; you just may not know what it is. Or the reason you think might not be the ultimate reason. Trust that the universe is leading you perfectly. It has been leading you perfectly all along.
If you think you are suffering because “God hates you” or because you did something terribly wrong or because you are a bad person, or because you are somehow unworthy of greatness in life, entertain the idea that this interpretation, although it seems very real, may not be the final reason, the final explanation for the experience.
I recall a well-known poem from my childhood by a n anonymous author. [As a personal aside, I remember this is actually where I learned what the word anonymous meant! I was very young, maybe seven years old or so.] The poem involved a person asking God why God had abandoned her when she was at her lowest point, leaving her to fend for herself, when God had promised that he/she would be there with her always. She said, “Why was there only one set of foot prints during this tragic time in my life?” God’s response was “When there is only one set of footprints, it is because I carried you.”
So during those times where you feel absolutely alone and abandoned, remind yourself that this too shall pass. When it does, you might be absolutely amazed and astounded by the perfection of the process. What you think is your worst hell might turn out in fact to be your most exquisite heaven. Your worst suffering might turn out to be your greatest bliss.
The important factor is simply to stay in the game and remain open to the possibilities. Life happens on a need-to-know basis. When you need to know more, the universe will provide you with more. The mind may want to know why in this moment, but the universe has its own timing.
Trust that when you need to know, you will know. This trust will help you align your preferences and desires with the universe’s preferences and desires. When this happens, everything that shows up in your life is a gift, and gratitude is the immediate and only response.