It was a start of a new school year, and I was living in a different state than usual. I was excited at first, my good friend attended the same school, as me and I thought I would be happy at that school, and get along good with the other students. I had a delusional perception of what that school year would be like.
How, that year was like precisely, that is something I do not know the answer to, when major trauma and shock occurred in my life, I blacked out a lot.
I remember that year, my classmate, which my teacher has forced me to have seats next to, would molest me. Constantly. I have had a witness of being sexually abused by my classmate, he did nothing about it though, and laughed, and let him molest me. I have memories of suddenly, being tasted and smelled and talked to by him, in certain ways to the point where it was sexually abusive. Me, I was immensely shocked and confused by all of it.
He was too old for me.
I remember I started get annoyed more easily and more anxious than usual, and had a more difficult time sleeping at night, and started constantly tossing and turning in the middle of night, and have hallucinations of sharp sensations, and up in the middle of the night crying, in a fit of rage! As a result of the sexual abuse.
Then later on my abuser from that school year began raping me. I remember running as fast as I could away from him. Did I succeed? I don’t know because that memory got repressed.
Then suddenly it’s the last day of school, I end up staying back that year. I don’t mind much though because I wanted to part ways with my abuser, and stay away from my mean classmates.