I am a twenty-three-year-old mother and wife. I have been happily married for three years now. But six years ago, my life was shattered. When I was fifteen years old, I met a guy. We quickly became friends and then became more even faster. We fell in love right away, and I am not talking about little puppy love, I am talking full-on in LOVE. We dated for two wonderful years. I never felt so loved or truly wanted. He asked me to marry him in November of 2003. I, of course, said yes. I was almost seventeen at the time, but knew I would be with him forever.
Well, my dreams soon changed when in March of 2004 he overdosed and passed away. He was not a drug addict; he got caught up with the wrong people. I thought that my life was over. A couple weeks later, I found out I was pregnant with his baby, but I hit another blow soon after. Because of the stress, I lost my baby. I fell apart. My piece of him was gone! I went into depression. I turned to alcohol, pills, and starving myself. I would burn myself and sometimes cut myself.
Six months later, I found love again. But even six years, a husband, and two kids later, it is still hard to cope with his loss. I tried hating him for being so reckless and dumb. It didn’t work. I tried blocking him out and it worked for about four years but it has recently came back and is killing me.