When I was in my twenties, I was pro-choice about abortions. My thinking was, “it’s a woman’s body and she should have a right to do what she wants.” I’ve never had an abortion and I’ve never been in a situation to make that decision. But I wonder how many women who had abortions years ago feel about it now? Especially the ones, who in their thirties, decide to get pregnant and can’t. I believe it’s God’s handiwork. He gave you a chance, and you blew it. So now He’s going to make it difficult for you.
I had problems with pregnancies. Not getting pregnant, I was pregnant five times. And had four miscarriages. I still mourn for those babies. I heard their heartbeats, saw them in my womb by ultrasound. I instantly bonded with them. I wonder what it would be like to be the mother of five, instead of a mother of one. I think God’s handiwork played into this too. After the birth of my son, the lupus I had been diagnosed four years earlier went out of control, to the point that I could no longer work in 1999 as a critical care RN. I went through three years of hell fighting for Social Security Disability, which I was finally awarded in 2002. I’m not sure I could handle five kids, and I believe God knew that. My son is a handful as it is.
After having the miscarriages, my thoughts on abortion changed. It isn’t the woman’s body we’re talking about, it’s an unborn child’s life that is the focus. I’ve always wondered how many women would change their minds about aborting their baby if they could hear their heartbeat or see them on ultrasound. It’s a child, and by eight weeks, the organs and nervous system has developed. It’s a BABY not a FETUS. I’m told that at Planned Parenthood Centers, the workers stress that it’s a fetus, not a baby. They consider it a baby when it’s born. When I was pregnant with my son, I felt and watched him kick in my abdomen and it brought me such joy. He wasn’t a fetus, he was my baby, kicking away to let me know he was doing ok.
I understand the feelings of women who learn, by ultrasound or amniocentesis, that the baby they are carrying has a congenital defect. Would I have an abortion? No, because, first, there is a fairly significant of false readings in both ultrasounds and amniocentesis, and second, I believe that each child is a child of God and He has a plan for the baby, no matter what the defect is. We go through hard times for reasons that we don’t understand at the time, but do later on in life.
By now you can guess that I am a Christian, and have accepted God as my Savior. I was angry when I was first disabled, and then depressed. But I realize now that if I hadn’t been disabled, I would have stayed working full-time. And I would have missed my son’s first words, first steps, first laugh, and the afternoon he worked for an hour to roll him self over. I got to see my son grow up, and I’m now home for my 11 year old when he gets home from school to help with his homework and listen to his stories from school. He helps me out too, bringing me iced tea, or other things I need when I’m in my bedroom upstairs and he’s in the family room downstairs. My husband works 7pm-7am, so after 6:15 p.m., it’s just my son and me and we have a strong bond that I hope we continue to have through our lives.
The Health Care Reform Bill will allow insurance and Medicaid to pay for abortions. It’s taxpayer’s money that will pay for these murders. There was an act, enacted in 1967, called the Hyde bill, which does not allow Medicaid to pay for elective abortions. The snag with the Health Care Reform bill is that it ignores the Hyde Act, and most pro-life advocates are trying to get their senators and representatives reminded of this. But I know that Medicaid paid for abortions in the late 1980’s, when I worked time to time in a recovery room of a University hospital in New Jersey. I took care of post-op abortion patients, mostly young girls who lived in the inner city of a predominantly poor city. Some had already had up to three abortions! It was their form of birth control. My question is: why doesn’t Medicaid and private insurance pay for birth control pills, yet pays for “ED” meds, such as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra? It’s ok for a man to get an erection to get a woman pregnant, but it’s her responsibility to be sure she has some type of protection to prevent pregnancy.
I think it’s also time for men to step up and act like men. It takes two to make a baby, but I never once saw a partner of one of the girls after their abortions. If more men stayed with their partner, a baby would be raised in a good environment, whether in the rich part of town, or the poor part of town. It doesn’t have a thing to do with money. It has to do with ethics. And morals. And a belief in a higher authority, whether its God,Christ or Allah. The man needs to realize there is a BABY in his partners womb, not a mass of cells.
I’m sure there are a lot of pro-choice women out there who will read this article in disgust. But let them have a miscarriage, or be infertile, and perhaps their opinions may change. As for teenagers, it’s great that some schools give condoms to students, but what about abstinence? There was a recent study that college-age girls said they had wished that had not lost their virginity during their teenage years. Those who were still virgins were adamant about their belief that having sex at an early age, or even before marriage, is just wrong. I hope we are raising a new generation that doesn’t take life for granted as so many of us in our fifties did.