He called you, asked you out and you’re going out for your first date on Friday! In preparation for this important date, remember how crucial it is to put your best foot forward and to really make an effort to make a good impression. First impressions are lasting impressions. In a city where there is a lot of fashion and emphasis on physical fitness, I am surprised how I will hear feedback from my male clients on how their dates wore frumpy clothes or did not seem to want to make a good impression on their date.
Different types of people view dating differently and regardless of whether you take your dates lightly or more seriously, prepare both mentally and physically for your date.
It’s the day of your Friday night date. He’s taking you to Sushi Groove South and picking you up at 8:00pm. You have chatted on Match.com but have never met and are kinda getting that nervous feeling you thought you wouldn’t experience. Ease into the night by drawing a warm bath and pour yourself a half glass of wine. Light a candle, put some lounge music on ala Supper Club , and slip into the bath with some body oil (Neutrogena makes a good one and they sell it at any Walgreen’s.) The really nice thing about the body oil is that it makes your skin silky, soft, and sweet smelling… part of the perfect combination of aphrodisiac to make him melt!
In the bath while shaving, rehearse in your mind good date topics and topics to avoid. Make sure to have made it a point to have reviewed his profile (if that is how you met) and pay attention to one or two highlights to ask him in follow-up. This shows him that you cared enough to have read his info and are genuinely interested in getting to know him. If his profile highlights having grown up as the youngest of five kids, ask him what life was like growing up as the youngest sibling. What are his brothers and sisters like? Where are they geographically? Do they have big family reunions annually? Develop a good story to segue into from all of that, weaving in a picture of who you are as well. Examples could include telling him about growing up in your hometown, what high school was like for you, etc.
Post bath, pay attention to your skin and teeth. Brush, floss, and rinse afterwards with Listerine. Pre make-up, put some nice moisturizer on your face, underneath your eyes, and use a lip balm on your lips. Chapped lips are simply the most distracting thing ever (in fact, throw some lip balm in your purse to make sure those lips are deliciously soft all night). For make-up, I always tell my clients to wear a little (make-up) and put an emphasis on accentuating best features. Use a light foundation that creates a nice dewy glow. A lot of celebrity make-up artists love Giorgio Armani foundation and I happened to have just bought a great new one I adore by Smashbox called “High Definition Healthy FX Foundation”. After your foundation is applied, get that extra glow by using a shimmer such as Benefit “High Beam” or Stila’s “All Over Shimmer” product. Shimmer is typically only applied on the cheekbone, underneath the eyebrow, and sometimes a light hint of it inside the inner most part of the eye. This “pops” the eye and look fabulous especially for the evening.
Afterwards, put some flirty blush on, some beige colored eye shadow in the crease of your eyelid. Line your lashes with a chocolate and charcoal pencil and smudge into the upper lash for a sexy, more dramatic look. Grab your eyelash curler and lightly heat it with a hairdryer for ten seconds. The heat activates your lashes and will make them very curly and sultry for hours into your date. Curl (without burning your eyelid… make sure it is not too hot) and then put on a great mascara. My favorite new “must have” mascara is from a brand called Too Faced and is called “Lash Injection.” This super-volumizing and lengthening mascara is unbelievable. It builds actual miniature tubes around each lash and has a silicone base that makes removal easy, with water and soap. If you have not heard of this miracle mascara, go buy yourself a tube at Sephora. After your make-up is done and your hair styled, put a hint of perfume on your neck and behind your ears. Men respond positively to hints of sweet scents like vanilla and cherry. I am not telling you my perfume of choice ‘cause I can’t give away all of my trade secrets, but trust me on the vanilla and cherry notes.
Didn’t have time to buy a new outfit? Don’t sweat it. Sift through your wardrobe and figure out what will accentuate your best feature. If you have a great chest, carpe diem girl, work it. If you have amazing long legs, show them off. My rule of thumb is if you show off one asset, then be conservative elsewhere. A little cleavage on top means a nice skirt that hits the knees, a pair of sexy slacks, or hip boot cut jeans. Cleavage on top and a short mini is not a good combo unless you are Paris Hilton and, even then, that is a disaster… sorry Paris!
I just went wardrobe shopping with a darling new client. We paraded through Neiman Marcus and found her some great date essentials. One essential I like to recommend is called a topper. A topper is basically a great ¾ length jacket that is simply the perfect cover over date clothes and warmth, especially for San Francisco. A topper in many ways is similar to the very popular trench these days. My client was used to wearing a lot of black, and very conservative black styles at that. I wanted to spice things up a bit and lighten her face up with a lighter color fabric. We found a great beige color topper jacket with really cool bronze color sequin embroidery sewn delicately at the cuffs and the hem. It works with jeans, slacks, dresses, and was the perfect combination of casual elegance. The tasteful sequin embroidery really made the jacket and, despite sounding like it might be too much, is completely gorgeous. I told my client to pull “up” the collar of the jacket, so it stands up a bit for a more elegant effect.
It depends where you are dining for your date but pretty much you can never go wrong with the ultimate perfect topper, conservative cashmere top, nicely fitting designer jeans, heels, and bag. If you are going to a fancy spot, do something like a wrap dress in a fun print, sexy stilettos, the topper, and clutch. Always make sure you have the correct type of undergarments on. I know I have worn various dresses out of the house and later realized that I should have worn a better bra that worked for my particular outfit. If you have not shopped for lingerie lately, maybe hit a place like Victoria’s Secret to get fitted properly for some new bras and panties. I think some of the best types of undergarments are nude colored low cut bras with limited embellishment and nude colored thong panties. These work great under most clothing and you do not see the panty line (phew).
In your purse, put only the essentials such as: mobile, $50 cash, an ID, credit card for emergency, lip gloss, chap stick, breath mints, and your keys. There is no reason to put everything into a massive bag… I know because my fiancé calls my Chanel purse “my suitcase.”
After an hour of primping, you are finally dressed, looking pretty and excited. He just called and said he is a few minutes away. At this point, your phone should go on vibrate – there is no reason to be talking to friends during your date, and accepting calls during the date is just bad form. Take a deep breath and know that even the hottest guys, just like the sexiest and most confident girls, get nervous. To ease those jitters, when you see him, give him a hug. A hug is such a great ice breaker and a really nice way to make him feel comfortable and at ease. Allow him to be a “man” on the date—to open doors if he offers, and to pay. I always get mixed feedback from men. My male clients are gentleman but a lot of women don’t allow them to be the gentlemen they deserve to be. More on gender roles next week!
Good luck on your dates this week and have fun! If you have questions, please feel free to drop me a line.