When it comes time to end a relationship, we are often creatures of blame. Most often, there are two sides to the Blame Coin, its All You, or it’s All Me. Very rarely does the coin stay in a mid spin to divvy up the blame.
Following my own divorce, following a marriage of just barely two years, came a time to start dating again. I had to learn again the art of dating, and learn again the rules of the game. I had to learn again the total mental and emotional collapse of rejection and rejecting. This I have honed to perfection.
When I am in the mood for a adult drink, I am a Bud Light in a bottle type girl, please and thank you. The guys I tend to date compare to a usually welcome, often regretted, fling with a Jose Cuervo Margarita type of man … with salt and lime. They are smooth starting out, awesomely fun to hang out with, and hell on the head in the morning.
When it comes time to part ways, either by choice or of consequence, I use to find myself circling my brain wondering, “What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? Could I have said something funnier, wore something classier?” Nothing. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Take a Bud Light and sit it on the counter. Look at it. It is perfect in its creation from Anheuser-Busch. Sitting there, they’re nothing wrong with it … it is what it is. I order it because I like it. Say a guy orders a Miller Lite. I don’t want it; I don’t even want to taste it. There is nothing wrong with the Miller Lite; it just isn’t the beer for me.
The same applies in dating. Take a man who showers longer than it does for me to get entirely ready from start to finish, may not know how to change the oil in his car, and has a larger collection of hair products that I do … that doesn’t make him a person that I need to harp and degrade … it just makes him not the guy for me. Just like the fact that I don’t wear heels to sporting events and won’t be caught dead in a dress doesn’t make me a bad person that can be talked down to either! It just makes me not the girl for him.
What a relief to realize there isn’t anything wrong with me. Years of therapy has been prevented!
And I will continue my search for my Bud Light in a bottle.