A glorious day dawns and I awake in an unfamiliar bed …
I smile to myself and take a deep breath—I am on retreat. Just days earlier and on a moment’s notice I had realized an urgent need for time alone to reconnect with the ability to heal and transform myself. Like falling dominoes, that split second of certainty created an effortless path for me to take off to the mountains all by my grateful lonesome.
Now I sit and wonder, “What next?!” All my overwhelming thoughts come on: I take on too much, my body is giving me messages I don’t quite understand, I identify too much with others’ suffering …and on it goes! As someone who facilitates healing for others, just let me say that “I”m not only the Hair Club President, but I’m also a client!”
So in a trembling voice I speak my fears—without resistance and in a state of complete vulnerability. It is hard, but also a great relief to be completely “naked” before Spirit and be willing to receive grace. I feel my energy body grow larger and larger until in breaks through the roof of the building I am in (just as Spirit transcends my little body), until I have a bird’s-eye view of all my surroundings.
As I look over, I realize that I am larger than the mountains themselves and can feel their craggy tips beneath my fingers. I can see the mountain town nestled among them. I AM A GIANT. I feel awed by my perspective of vision, but otherwise contentedly detached. I look at myself. I am transparent and somewhat formless, like a clear and light creature.
And I look down at my troubling feelings, mere specks down near my “feet,” but not even large enough to brush up against my toes.
Ah, to be transparent and stand in my power of essence so that everything flows through me without creating the stress and strain of reaction! To be clear so everyone’s hurts don’t stick to my energy like burrs and activate my own sore points. To release all the labels and definitions I have placed on myself and connect with the higher energy I truly am.
I walk in a meadow surrounded by mountain peaks later that day with a new knowing within me. As I stand in the valley, I realize I know the mountaintop intimately, because I have already touched it. Everything is more brilliant and the singing of the birds more magical than ever before. I come upon a bubbling little stream, and marvel that I have never heard such sweet music.
There is a Transparent Self within you. It is your true nature that realizes you are just playing your little roles for now, and though they may feel very real and elicit great reaction from yourself and those around you, they are your “dress-up” games. Don’t forget to take those costumes off once in a while! Gently close your eyes and invite your Transparent Self to show you the way.