I know there is such a word as “hope”! Since I was a child I’ve been taught to pray, to believe in my Heavenly Father, that there is hope, but I must have faith. These are the words from my parents, grandparents, and teachers: “Your Heavenly Father is watching over you; He knows your needs and your wants; He would never abandon you; Just call upon your Heavenly Father when you’re feeling lowly; He is our God of Hope and Faith and Love and all things good. He will provide for you!”
I still believe in what I was taught and I am a firm believer in prayer. I know I am a good woman.
Lately I’ve been down on my luck with finding a stable job. I’m furloughed from my airline job due to the economy. Last year I went to college and obtained a certificate in to be a clinical medical assistant; I was so excited I had achieved something good. I was so proud of myself. I completed my practical externship, I learned a lot, and I was so energized to work in a medical facility. I sent out more than a hundred applications. Eight months later I am still without a job in this field. It was to be a career for me. Since I was twenty, I’ve worked as a CNA in nursing homes and on and off as a caregiver while raising five kids.
Currently I feel so down-and-out; the more I cry out to my Heavenly Father, the more he doesn’t seem to be around. I reckon he has abandoned me; but I am not giving up. My belief and the words that I learned that should strengthen me and give me faith to have hope have almost diminished; yet each day at every moment I utter words of prayer that maybe today or tomorrow someone will call me for a job. And the day comes and passes—no calls for a job.
I am relying on my roomie to pay my rent this month. He is not a happy camper. I asked him to consider my situation.
I couldn’t attend my daughter’s high school graduation last week due to a job interview as a medical assistant. I wanted the job so bad that I called my daughter and apologized to her that I couldn’t be there; if she would understand and please, forgive me. Her sisters would be there for her, on my behalf. This is the biggest regret I am living with right now. She is my youngest child.
A week later and I haven’t heard back from that interview.
I pray and ask my Heavenly Father whether he understands my pain and my struggle; to increase my faith so that I may have hope always. I pray for his grace and mercy in my everyday life so that I encourage and motivate myself to hope that a new job awaits me, and hopefully it comes very soon.