The Duggars have nineteen children and Octomom has fourteen, while the Gosselins, those slackers, have only managed to produce eight. But there’s something else these incessant breeders have in common besides hyperactive uteruses …
Until recent history, there were always carnival freak shows featuring such oddities as the bearded lady, the elephant man, and your usual assortment of midgets. Nowadays, such would be considered politically incorrect, so those in the business of entertainment have simply adapted with the creation of reality TV and, in particular, shows about families with no concept of population control.
What puzzles me is who watches these shows? I can’t imagine they have a large male following and I don’t know of any single, childless women like me who’d be enthralled, so who is the audience for these ventures into the wonderful world of procreation?
Now, I have to admit that I’ve tuned into the Jon & Kate show a few times, but only to see what new and exciting way Kate would come up with that week to emotionally castrate the proud father of her brood. It was nice to see Jon finally show some balls in a recent interview where he said he “despised” Kate, and Kate’s forced smile and Herculean effort to take the high road in response has been a thing of beauty to behold. That’s got to be causing her a serious rash somewhere though, don’t you think? I mean, you just can’t hold that kind of stuff in and expect the body to oblige forever.
The Duggars’ shtick apparently is giving all their offspring a name beginning with the letter “J” although why the affinity for that particular consonant I don’t know. I e-mailed them and asked “Hey, what’s up with the J’s?” or words to that effect. I got an e-mail back from the super hero of sperm himself, Jim Bob Duggar, trying to sell me a Duggar DVD and a bible, but no answer to my question. He did, however, want me to know that they manage to raise their little products of God’s love (because they attribute their flagrant humping like bunnies to God’s will, of course) absolutely debt free. Well, sure you can, Duggars. Because people like me are subsidizing you. You get another tax deduction with each new kid you pop out. And on behalf of taxpayers everywhere, let me just say it’s our pleasure.
At least the Octomom had the fleeting presence of mind to admit in an interview back in June that maybe having all these kids wasn’t the best idea she ever had. Let’s hope that moment of lucidity didn’t put a damper on the box office returns of “Octomom—The Musical.” Yes. Really.
Which brings me back to my original question. Who is the audience for these shows? I did some research and found a site where the fans of the Duggars could leave comments. From someone calling herself Ms Juicy Boo we have: “Yep its tru … I like the show … Haven’t seen the new ones yet … but I don’t think it’s out yet either… So I haven’t watched it … but having eighteen kids is CRAZY… I wonder will she every get on BC… or would the hospitals are something make … meanin if she get old and is still having kids!??? hmmm.”
“Yep.” I think that pretty much solves the mystery for me.