The thunder rolled and dark storm clouds moved in while we were out following my eight-year-old daughter’s last indoor soccer game of the summer. We were eating at a little sports bar when I saw the tornado warnings for our county via e-mail on my iPhone.
We headed home, toward the tornado warnings (awesome), but by the time we got to our house the warnings had expired, and it had just started to lightly rain. I decided to take down our hanging ferns from the front porch and place them on our front walk for a little watering session courtesy of Mother Nature.
We have a family of birds that always makes a nest in the right side fern each spring. The baby birds have long grown up, learned to fly, and headed elsewhere so I no longer proceed with caution when I unhook that fern.
I started to take the fern down when a freaked out sparrow, no doubt hiding out from the threat of the summer storm, flew full speed DIRECTLY INTO MY FACE. OMG!
That’s right. A bird flew smack dab into my left jaw line, right below my ear. I’m not sure who was more scarred from this episode, the bird or me, but I’m just glad it didn’t bruise my cheek or die slowly at my feet. I would love to explain that to my kids. Never mind the dead bird on the porch girls. Mommy killed it accidentally! WITH HER HEAD.
We won’t talk about the snake hiding in the bush by our mailbox a few weeks ago or the dead squirrel on our front lawn that greeted me as I went for a walk last night.
I think the universe is telling me to stay indoors.
Jamie Reeves is a Southern soccer mom who has been blogging about poop and pinot noir at BlondeMomBlog.com  since 2005.