Remember when you were young and were told you couldn’t drink orange juice out of the bottle or eat ice cream out of the carton? I couldn’t wait to be old enough to do it. Then I got married and it was the same thing. “Get your own bowl.” And, “Ew gross, don’t back wash.” Then I had children and I was telling them the same thing. “It’s not nice to eat out of the carton.” Of course, this meant I had to set a good example and not do it myself. Well tonight, I opened the freezer, took out a carton of ice cream, put a spoon in it, and ate. That’s right. I ate more than one bite even. I put the spoon back into the ice cream and I ate more. Me, a firm believer in portion control, ate ice cream late at night, out of the carton and, didn’t pay attention to how much.
I just didn’t feel like doing “the right thing”! What is going on with me?
I think I know. I am tired of being a good person. I need a break. I want to be bad. The problem is that I don’t really know how. I am one of those, really nice people that most folks tend to like. (Or despise because I’m so “nice.”)
This week, I felt like being a good parent was too much work for me. I felt like being a good friend was too much work, a good spouse was too much work, and being a good dog owner, too much work. I put aside setting a good example because, it was just too much work. Reflecting on my week here is what I have realized.
On Monday, I kept my daughter home from school even though I sort of knew she wasn’t that sick. Keeping her home meant flaking on my hiking group. One night this week, I didn’t have dinner ready on time, while I watched my husband mow the lawn and rake leaves. Another day I avoided offering a friend help. I should have taken down the Halloween decorations, but I didn’t. I yelled at my kids for something not even worth yelling about. I ate candy for lunch. I watched Oprah. Two episodes back to back. I gave my husband a back rub instead of having sex with him, which he would have preferred. My book club is meeting this weekend and guess what?! I didn’t finish the damn book!
How is that for one full week of reckless abandonment? I didn’t even plan it. It just sort of happened! And while I am sitting here eating ice cream out of the carton I am wondering why good people always have to be so good? Guess what bad people? Being good isn’t that easy.
It is a lot of work being loyal, loving, caring, setting a good example, keeping up and maintaining harmony in the household. Keeping a good marriage going is work. It is literally a labor of love. Raising good children is a constant mind-filler. My brain is keeping track of so many things trying to work very hard at being good. I wouldn’t have it any other way. But sometimes I wonder …
Can a person take a vacation from being good? Well, I took one this week.