You bought me a pool table last Christmas Day
Years ago, seats for the old Rams’ 49ers
On Thanksgiving, you gave me the bird
To cook for thirty friends, plus the Shriners.
My birthday you took me away from it all
Our room was on the eighteenth hole.
Three times I got hit with the ball
Twice, in my camisole.
Thank you kindly but on the next occasion
Please listen to this sound advice.
Do not always be thinking of me.
For once, buy yourself something nice.