My title might sound a little odd, but it doesn’t make it any less true. It is basically a wordplay on a bestselling book’s title. The book in question is called Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love. Frankly, the moment I saw the book, I was really turned off by how stereotypical its entire concept was. I was actually inspired to write a reverse article—why men need love and women need sex, to point out that both sexes need and want both love and sex. We both want it, and both hope to find that we can find these things in the same person.
Sex vs. Love
But, as stereotypical as the title is, it’s not entirely wrong. Even though sex is a biological need for both parties, women tend to associate sex with love. Many of us believe that sex might be better if we are doing it with the person we love. Guys seem to be more obsessed with finding a woman who is good in bed, while women cross their fingers that the guy they fell in love with will be good in bed. A bit of a dilemma, right?
Porn vs. Vampire Fiction
I am not saying you can’t have sex without love, or enjoy sex if there aren’t mutually intense feelings. But women are typically labeled as the more romantic ones. And we do form the majority of the audience in romantic movies and the majority of the readers of romantic escapism books. While there are certainly girls who enjoy porn, it is far more likely to find porn materials in a guy’s room than in a girl’s room. But go through her computer, DVDs, her movie/television watching history, or her books, and you will probably run into content on vampires. It could be that she is more into classics like Bram Stoker and Anne Rice. It could be the Twilight series, or it could be Dracula films. But it’s really hard to find a girl who hasn’t enjoyed watching at least one vampire on the screen. So why the hell are we so obsessed?
Just like porn stars and male-magazine cover girls have the bodies that attract men, the casting/writing for vampire films and books are done with the utmost care. The guys are hot—they have great faces, great bodies, intense looks, and seductive traits. Even though we get our share of villains, there is always that one leading vampire who falls for a human girl. Then we get the everlasting love story, where the guy risks his life to save the girl. It might be cheesy or corny, but as long as the writing and casting can pull it off, we girls are willing to buy it all. The blood and the sex might be drawing men in, but for girls, it is usually the sexy and passionate love story. Guys might make fun of it, but frankly, I wouldn’t poke fun if I were them. It’s not like they are always watching state-of-the-art films with substance. They can watch as much Nolan, or Scorsese, or Fincher, or whoever they like. There will still be porn movies we know they love watching.
So yes, guys and girls tend to see love and sex differently at times. I propose we leave each other alone with this. They are never going to respect our crush for Boreanaz or Pattinson or Somerhalder. And we never want to catch them at it, especially when they’re getting assistance from their “quality” stash.
But I suppose once in a while, we get a series like True Blood—a show that seems to give both parties what they want at the same time. It’s nice to find a vampire flick to watch together. I guess we occasionally end up in relationships where we want similar things.
So, guys like porn. Girls like vampires. But we both want the love and the sex after all. We just enjoy different servings and presentations.