One of the delightful elements of coaching (and there are many) is getting to meet so many different women. Every week, I talk to women from different walks of life and different parts of the country and world. Though no two women are the same, there is one thing they seem to have in common: they are unaware of their own incredible, amazing, stunning awesomeness.
I’m not kidding. As a coach, I really get to see these women. They very graciously allow me into their worlds, tell me their thoughts and emotions, and share who they are with me. As a result, I am awestruck by their inner beauty. I see how much they shine, from the inside out. Most of the time, I only hear their voices and never meet them in person. And yet—it is so easy to see how incredible they are.
It makes me think, week after week, about something unusual. I start to wonder what it would be like if everyone could really see how amazing they are. What if everyone knew, in their hearts, that they are an awesome human being, valuable, whole, and magnificent, right now?
All these women I’ve worked with believe they need to change something about themselves before they can be proud of who they are. They think they need to lose weight, be smarter, have it together, find an amazing career, stop feeling sad, get well, be better at something, be more fit, less afraid … the list goes on and on. These women think they need to fix something about themselves before they can feel okay about who they are.
The funny thing is, the more they try to fix themselves, the less they share their unique selves with the world. They hide the very best parts of themselves and try to be something that’s just a pale imitation of the real deal. I get it, because I’ve certainly done it, too. Which is why I know it doesn’t lead to valuing one’s self.
I believe that everything about these women is awesome. All of their emotions, moods, thoughts, achievements, non-achievements, mistakes, successes, hairstyles, body sizes, etc. Every little thing that makes up who they are in this moment is what makes them so unique, so amazing, and so—them. Yet, here they are, trying so hard to fix themselves up. Here they are, not looking at their very own awesomeness. All they can see is where they need improvement.
Coaching isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about seeing yourself. It’s about letting go of all that pressure to be different than who you really are, right now. It’s about relaxing and saying, “I’m mad/sad/afraid/happy right now.” It’s about delving into the mystery of who you are, discovering more fascinating nuggets each day.
So what I’d really like to know is this: what do you see, about yourself, that you can celebrate today? It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. I’m celebrating that I can admit to myself just how terrified I am of the mouse in my kitchen. Instead of thinking I should be braver, I am allowing myself to be who I am right now—woman who is afraid of tiny little mouse. I’m celebrating that I rarely try to do anything perfectly anymore, and as a result, I have more fun and success than ever before. I’m celebrating that I am getting more and more real with myself about my own emotions, and I’m making delightful discoveries about myself as a result.
How are you awesome? I really want to know your answer. I see it in you—in the emails you write to me, the coaching sessions you have with me—but do you? It’s time to decide that you can see your own awesomeness. It’s not egotistical or wrong or bad. In fact, it’s the number one most healing thing you can do, hands down, for your mind, body, and spirit. Your spirit already knows how awesome you are. So when you start to see it, watch out. You will be unstoppable. You will be you. You will be so much more than this “fixed-up” version of yourself you’re trying to be.
I can’t wait!