That’s what I want to tell my three of my “friends.” Thank you so very much for hurting me like this.
Alicia, thank you for being so self-obsessed that you cannot be happy for me. Thank you for living in a fairy-tale land where you think all singles are miserable and all couples are delirious with joy. Because of that, you cannot see the difficulties I have with my partner and cannot help me with them. I’m so glad I get no support from you. I suppose the times when I held your hand while you cried and moaned about your love life count for nothing.
Nafeeza, thank you for ignoring me and choosing to go out with only Alicia and Belinda. Thank you for having no backbone to stand up for what is right, and thank you for not caring to hear the full story. Perhaps I should also have simply taken Fareed’s side when he hit you, I should also have ignored your loneliness after he left you, I should also have made no effort to have an actual conversation with you.
Belinda, thank you for talking to me when you needed something from me and thank you for dumping me after I served my purpose. Thank you for asking me for advice as you struggled with your job and your boyfriend. Thank you for never speaking to me again after you got the new job and dumped David. Glad to have been of service.
And now I weep … when the anger is gone, when the strength to replay every scene over and over again trying to figure out what I did wrong—when all of that is gone, all I am left with is confusion and tears. I always try so hard to be a good friend, to be there for them even when it’s not convenient for me, but lately, I seem to be losing the few people I invested so many of my feelings for. It’s never been like this and I don’t know why.