This poem contains graphic or mature content.
Living in an abnormal world,
Which sees no end.
Downplay every situation,
The monster becomes your friend.
Like when you’re eleven years old,
Sleepover with your buddies.
You’re suddenly awake, and the monster’s hands
Are not where they are supposed to be.
Don’t worry when morning comes he will be gone,
And Dad will sneer and call you a liar.
You’ll become a pro, because he told
You that’s all you’d ever be.
You’re cold alone on the kitchen floor, not all there,
A new monster comes and together you’re leaving.
He said we were going somewhere.
Suddenly you’re awake and his zipper slides …
No … please don’t, this isn’t right … this isn’t …
You’re screaming for your lover through your tears,
Monster hits you, and blacks out your fears.
In the morning you’re cold alone,
Clothes are torn and covered in blood.
Maybe had I stayed home …
Been a kid that was good.
New monster says, “C’mon baby let’s try
No, no please … I pleaded.
I didn’t want to.
Instead, I’m trapped, and feel overwhelming pain.
Over and over. Again and Again.
Bawled, I cried, hyperventilate, I tried to break free.
But, that Monster just hits and hits me.
I see happy faces as I laid there,
Pictures on the wall.
I cried in a bloody, tearful
Vomit covered ball.
How did I get home? What happened next?
Monster said I was a turnoff … everything else?
I don’t remember it.
Don’t worry honey, tell me your secrets.
Confide in me.
Because … your dreams are unrealistic, ambitions nothing,
You’ll never be good enough for me, you can never make me happy.
Like making a grocery list
I can name a few more.
But, I’m aching to smile and
Forget the horror.
They don’t know, and we all pretend.
Downplay every situation.
The monster is my friend.
* I think by far the best poem I have ever written *