“When you first encounter doubt, assume the best. Because without fact or ‘certain’ knowledge it is simply a figment of your imagination that negatively controls your thoughts, limits your behavior, actions, and opportunities. Do you really know for SURE? If not, WHY are you wasting time assuming or doubting? Give yourself and others a chance. Don’t let doubt control you and stop you from positive thoughts, behavior, and motivating your action! Ask and do as much as you can, first, to remove doubt. Rely on facts you accumulate through results of action and question rather than auto-assuming. You don’t know what others are thinking, have done, are willing to do, what you are capable of, or can accomplish till you ask or do! No room for doubt.”—Author Unknown
This is one thing that I struggle with in my personal life. It stems throughout my entire life, starting as a child and all the way to the present. I grew up always doubting myself. And this negative way of thinking also influenced my relationships with family, friends, and intimate as well. I did not know this way of thinking was hurting all of these areas of my life until years later after I was an adult and had been involved in many years of therapy.
Like many others, I went through some very rocky, and at times, very abusive relationships. I always doubted myself, in every way. Due to this way of thinking, I lost out on so many opportunities. All because I did not believe in myself enough to take the needed risks. I was always so afraid of messing up, making mistakes and looking stupid; that I did not even begin to try. There were even some people that I wanted to meet or talk to, and I even had a hard time saying a simple hello to them, in order to try getting involved with the things they were doing that looked so fun and missed out on.
A direct result of this led me into many years contemplating self and life. Who was I? What was the meaning of life? MY life to be exact!
Now at the age of thirty-one, I look back at all of the things that I missed out on all because of the fact that I was just too afraid of not being perfect. I had to learn that there is no such thing as “perfect” and that everybody makes mistakes! I am not the only one who had these thoughts for so long. I had to find who I was and who it was that I even wanted to be. I had to discover the things in my life that brought me pleasure and meaning. These all are some very personal experiences. I had to find my own values and morals and the things I believed in and wanted to enrich my own life with.
I am still learning at this point. But I believe that this is a life-long process. We learn new things every single day; if only we are aware, and want to be involved in our own lives as much as we can! Not only do I learn new things about myself; I learn new things in so many other areas. This is an awesome aspect of life. I have gained so much even through the survival of struggle and strife! How can one truly appreciate the good if they have never had to struggle through the dark?
“When you believe in nothing, you will fall for anything.”—Author Unknown