After a grueling thirteen-month relationship full of bad sex, I have decided to end all communication with men, period, and just get a vibrator. Of course, I will miss being held at night and waking up next to someone but for that, I will get a body pillow. Yes, a body pillow to cuddle and spoon with along with a vibrator to give me knockout sex. Oh, and I forgot the very tasty bottle of wine.
Look, I am thirty-five. I figure I will never get married—men are assholes and I tried a lesbian relationship once but it was short-lived (like one day). I like affection, I like to kiss and touch but after having the worst, most disgusting sex with a man going through a mid-life crisis, I need to pop off a couple of times. And enjoy it!
So, like my last relationship, I will pull out the party bag when my kids are gone, I will break open a chilled bottle of Muscato or Zinfandel and drink to my heart’s content. I will also turn on the Rabbit and cuddle up with my body pillow. In the end, there will be no semen on my stomach, no stinky spit on my boobs, no fingers trying sneak up into my ass and no man lying telling me he loves me instead or saying what he wants (e.g. your p@@sy is so good!).
I am relieved that this one is over. I realized a long time ago men will look at my exterior. They like what they see and then when my mouth opens up and all the curtains fall, they all do the same thing—they cheat. They leave and they stay away from me then come back to me when there’s no one else to talk to.
I am not crazy or anything but I was abused and rejected and I pretty much learned early that either people want you or they don’t. It almost sounds like a thing, but that is my experience with people. 90 percent of the time the men I meet are bad, abusive men who want control. They lie in the beginning and I pretty much keep my guard up so I won’t let them in. They all do this. They all say I love you, they all buy me gifts, and give me money. I make my own money by my own red bottoms and pay my own mortgage. I don’t want to be kept.
This last one was just wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong and I say WRONG! He courted me too, jumped in fast, and then cheated. I was the nice-looking female who he saw tired from working, who he never saw out late and taking care of my kids good. What he didn’t care to know was that I am a control freak and I have bipolar disorder. What he didn’t care to know was that I refuse to depend on a man for anything. What he didn’t like was me paying the bill and buying my own stuff. What he didn’t like was the independent me who could take care of his whole family too. He wanted me to humble myself or shut my mouth and suck his dirty dick when he pulled it out.
That is why I have cut off all communication with men on every level except for my son, my nephews, and my brothers. Other than that, I raise the white flag. I give up. Men are worthless and men are shit.