I’m eighteen. I’m so young. I’m in my first year of college and I hate it. I have no motivation to go to class, and I’m so confused on relationships right now. I’ve heard this is supposed to be the best time of your life, but it isn’t like that for me at all. Sure, I have lots of freedoms now that I’m out on my own. But still, so many responsibilities. And I’ve put so much hope into certain people that I don’t feel like I have enough left for things that actually matter, like school and work. But people matter, too. That’s why I’m confused. In the big scheme of things, life is short. We study so we’ll be able to work. Work our whole lives and for what? So when we’re old we take what limited time we have left to enjoy what all we’ve spent our entire life working for? I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up . . . but I already feel grown up. This is a problem. I just miss being carefree and happy with the ones I love. Especially the ONE I love. One day I’m happy, the next it’s the exact opposite. Is it hormones? Maybe I’m just thinking too much. All I know is I’ve got to start putting hope into myself and believing that things will get better. If I don’t do that, I don’t think they ever will.