Today I was filling out a form in which I was asked my marital status. Never a difficult question to answer, as I’ve been checking that same first box for three decades. But what really amazed me are the different variations of responses that this question now has:
It seems as though we no longer need to fit into the mold that was once so commonplace. There are times in my life in which another box fit, only to go back to my steady “single” box, the one that is steadfast, strong and always present, unlike many of my previous relationships.
And while I look forward to the day when I get to check box number two, I’m very happy that my friends have found a way to do so. Since I was eighteen, I have been attending weddings of friends my age. That’s fifteen years to watching my friends make incredible, difficult, profound vows to love, honor, and cherish for the rest of their lives. It’s such an important thing to witness and believe in, when the girls and boys, now men and women, open their hearts right in front of you and then toast it with a glass of bubbles. I look forward to not only giving, but receiving, that same covenant of promise and love … swearing that the tough days, the imperfections, and the trials will be met with the same endurance and unconditional love that brought us to the altar in the first place.
I look forward to standing in white in front of the people who love me without conditions and hearing me express gratitude to a man for encouraging my emblazoned passions … for embracing my foolhardy attempts to make the perfect cup of coffee … and for looking past a moment of selfishness and seeing instead the soul inside the exterior. For making sacrifices simply so a smile will cross my face … for believing in the word “commitment” and all that it represents … for loving me the way he does, and for choosing to spend the most important moments of his life with me.
Dr. Seuss once wrote: “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
One day, whether it’s an elopement in Vegas, a ceremony on the beach, or in a presence of a judge, there will be a time in which I will vow to honor and cherish. It could be with someone I meet and fall in love with after two weeks, a long-distance romance, a cherished friendship that evolves into more, or someone I haven’t met yet. I don’t have the answers, but I do know that I will find that kind of unconditional love in my life … someone who will fall in mutual weirdness with me.