My ex-boyfriend taught me so much. Our relationship was a very unhealthy one. I was co-dependent and he was a narcissist. Not a very good combination. Needless to say there were many fights about his lying, cheating, etc and many make up sessions ending with me apologizing so he wouldn’t walk out of my life. I felt that his love and acceptance of me was more important than my values and feelings for myself. Every once and a while the Real Me would rise up and I would fuss and tell him off. But when he got mad and didn’t want to change, I would back down and just accept things as they were. I felt like I needed someone to love me and to be with me no matter what. Well the relationship ended when I got stronger. I went from calling him all through the day and hearing him tell me to stop calling him and to stop being annoying to not caring if he called me or not. I was strong enough to leave him alone for good and of course that’s when he came back. The day I saw him cheating with my own two eyes is when I snapped. That’s when I learned that just because you want someone to be a good person doesn’t mean that they will be. He lied all the time and I refused to accept him as a liar. I also refused to accept that I am not capable of dealing with the lies he told. In other words, I was conforming to a person that I was never meant to or ever could be. That’s why we fought so much. I also learned that just because I tell the truth and am a good person doesn’t mean everyone else in the world is. “It’s one thing to hope for the best in people, it’s another thing to not accept people for what they are. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Don’t make excuses for them.
So I learned that some people in this world are all about themselves. They are mean and just plain evil, and I can’t make them change. I am not God or their Holy Spirit. They have to want to change on their own.
I also learned that I am definitely not perfect and I have more issues that co-dependency. One being anger. I have grown a lot in this area but could still grow a little more. I am grateful to that relationship because I learned who I really am and what I truly deserve. Now I have a wonderful husband who reminds me how great I am every day. So ladies, it does get better if you face your fears and handle your truths!