I don’t care what the calendar says. I don’t care what my birth certificate says. I don’t care what my mother says,
I AM NOT FIFTY!!!!!
My face doesn’t look fifty … forty—maybe
So what if I have a few wrinkles? I have plenty of creams.
So what if my skin isn’t all peaches and cream anymore? That’s what foundation and blush are for.
And maybe I have some grays but only my hairdresser knows for sure.
My body doesn’t look fifty … thirty-five—maybe
So what if I don’t weigh a hundred pounds anymore? Who wants to be that skinny anyway?
So what if I have to wear a bra under everything? Only my hubby sees what’s under my clothes.
And I absolutely refuse to dress like I’m fifty! If I have it my way I will die in my jeans!
My body doesn’t feel fifty … thirty—maybe
So what if I have to work out to keep it that way? Exercise is good for everyone.
So what if I take more supplements than I used to? Those are good for you too.
And maybe I am feeling a bit warmer now and then. But once I get through it, there will be no more periods.
I don’t feel fifty … twenty-five—maybe
So what if I don’t remember a few minor details? They just must not have been important.
So what if I tell you something more than once? This way you won’t forget.
And there’s just too much information in my brain already to hold it all. So something’s gotta give.
I don’t make love like I’m fifty … twenty—maybe
So what if I can’t go for four-hour marathons anymore? Quality is better than quantity anyway.
So what if I’m sometimes slightly sore all over the next day? It was worth it.
And besides it’s so much better once you know what you like, have fun and just enjoy it without inhibitions.
And in the place of all that youth, I have some wisdom, knowledge, insight and discernment.
I make fewer mistakes. I make better choices. And if you listen I give pretty good advice.
I know what the most important things are: God and family and good friends.
I’ve had half a lifetime of experiences and I hope I have half a lifetime more to go.
They say “You’re as old as you feel.”
They say that fifty is the new thirty.
I can live with that.
But, never say die … or fifty.
So that’s my story and I’m stickin’ with it.