I wish you would change your mind. I wish you would swallow your pride and talk to me. Is that it? Is it pride? Or is it fear? Or is it a true absence of feeling? Have you found indifference? I guess you have. I envy you. I want to find indifference too, but I fear it is not in my nature. I didn’t think I would be the one to get hurt. I didn’t think I would feel the things I feel. I was not prepared to be steamrolled, which makes the pain that much worse. No anticipation, no warning, just full speed ahead until we crashed into a brick wall. And I’m still lying on the floor flattened by the impact, a one-dimensional shadow of my former 3D self. But you. You managed to escape unscathed, or so it seems. That tells me you were never really in it to begin with. That’s a hard truth for me to accept, because it means I was wrong. I misjudged, miscalculated, misunderstood the feelings I had for you, the feelings I thought you had for me. I don’t know what to believe, what to trust, what to feel anymore now that my illusions have been shattered. I still love you. I still care. Even after all the pain you have caused me, it’s hard for me to leave things as they stand, a tangled mess of unanswered questions. But you have given me no alternative, your silence the only constant in this variable equation. So I will keep trying to move forward, keep trying to forget, keep trying to find myself, to return to 3D in the absence of your light. I miss you.