I’ve been tip-toeing back into the wild world of dating, and while it’s been fun (“Joe,” the current guy I’m seeing is not only deliciously hot and a great kisser, we also have a lot of common ground with just enough differences of opinion to keep things interesting), it’s also been baffling. More often than not, dating and men leave me with more questions, but somehow, I’m navigating my way through them with grace…mostly.
That said, there are five questions I think I’ll always have about men and dating.
1. Why won’t he text/call/email?!
This one gets all of us. Joe is attentive and even says he’s into me and wants to talk to me, but he can go days without communicating…driving me to question whether he really is all that into me. My ever-patient friends remind me—constantly—that men just aren’t as happily communicative as women are. Where I’m tapping out paragraphs in a text bubble, Joe will respond with a simple, “Hahaha, sounds good,” leaving me wondering what it all means.
It’s enough to drive me crazy.
But then, just when I least expect it, my phone will chirp, and sure enough, it’s Joe, with an article he thinks I’ll like. It’s his way of letting me know he’s still there.
2. Why does he say one thing, then do another?!
Joe is great at mentioning things he’d like to do with me—a great bar he knows I’d love, etc.—and then forgetting immediately. He’s also great at making tentative plans, “Yeah, I can probably see you this Thursday!” and then texting me the day before to let me know that this or that or the other came up.
We’re not in a serious relationship by mutual agreement, but it still makes me nuts when he backtracks like this. It also doesn’t help me trust him, even though my gut tells me he really is going through a crazy period in his life, starting a new job and figuring things out as he goes.
That said, if it happens again, we’re having a talk.
3. What is it about that smile that makes me so quick to forgive?!
Just when I’m ready to throw in the towel and dump him entirely, Joe will smile that smile, or do something really sweet (my cat died recently and he was so attentive and caring it almost made me cry more). And all of my frustration will fly out the window. I find myself willing to give him all the chances to figure out what he wants from me and give this whole fledgling friendship time to grow into something more…eventually.
I don’t know where this is going, and I’m certainly not devoting all of my energy to Joe at this point—I’m keeping other dating options open and feeding my own soul. I really like Joe, but the bottom line is that my own heart is worth more than a few good dates and some excellent kissing.
Keep questioning, ladies.