Home > 15 products for Your "50 Shades of Grey" Lifestyle
15 products for Your "50 Shades of Grey" Lifestyle
By now you've at least heard about Fifty Shades of Grey, the smut trilogy that's causing American moms to spend a lot more time in the bubble bath. You may know it's been turned into a movie. You may even know it has its own line of makeup and sex toys. But the merchandise doesn't stop there. You can enjoy a complete Fifty Shades of Grey lifestyle with these handmade Etsy products.
Apparently the guy in the book wears a lot of ties? So instead of being truly stylish and donning some kicky Annie Hall-style menswear, put on a wee faux-tie necklace that makes you look like a giant.
If you're not into wee tie necklaces, you might consider a wee handcuff necklace. WARNING: May start gossip about your behavior between the sheets, unless, of course, you or your partner is a police officer.
There's something to be said for being bold with your accessories, but we think this bracelet might invite some unwanted—or at least inappropriate—attention. On the plus side, you'd probably meet a lot of interesting people.
If this subtle item doesn’t remind you of your favorite book every time you get a call, I don't know what will. It will also have strangers saying, “What's all that crap on your phone?” and you’ll reply, “Oh, it’s just my Fifty Shades of Grey phone case. Couldn't you tell by the tie and mask and lips and handcuffs?” and the person will say, “Oh you read that stuff?” and you’ll say, “Yes, it’s totes my fave, OMG I wish I was being spanked this very moment!” and then the person will say, “Okay then.”
You need this, because being the "property" of a fictional character is something that everybody needs to know. Baristas, deliverymen, people on the bus, the cute guy at your gym, the not-so-cute guy at your gym, everybody.
The DC staff rarely supports sweatpants with words across the back, but these are particularly bad. “Laters baby”? I’m sorry, but men who can't speak English properly should not be rewarded for their dunce-itude by getting to have sex with college grads.
When you’re gathered with your lady friends, discussing all the various ways that Anastasia and Mr. Grey get funky and how all of you would like to get funky with your accountant husbands, make sure to bring your personalized wine glass so you don’t accidentally sip each other’s chardonnay. One must have boundaries, after all.
Apparently this is something that the main character exclaims quite often. As in, “Oh my, Mr. Grey, your throbbing member is quite tumescent,” or “Oh my, I don’t believe you should put that toothbrush down there, Mr. Grey,” or “Oh my, I was sort of into this at first, but now I’m starting to think that you’re an unstable asshole who gets off on abusing women.”
I am told that handcuffs are featured quite prominently in this book. Get a set of soap cuffs, so when you’re done in the bedroom, you can wash up afterwards. Guaranteed to confuse and alarm house guests.