I’ll be the first person to admit that while I’m disgusted and tired of hearing about political sex scandals, I’m also intrigued. How is it possible that someone—who's full-time job is to an lead army or run a state—find time to mess around? Well, here are ten guys who managed to squeeze it into their hectic schedule.
After it was discovered that the former New York governor had spent something around $80,000 on high-end call girls, New Yorker’s just wanted to see the guy go away. And he did, but not for long. Apparently someone at Current TV thought he might cause less trouble on television and gave him his own show, Spitzer hosts the Viewpoint with Eliot Spitzer.
This one sounded like it could have been ripped out of the pages of a smutty book—and, in some ways, maybe it was. The former Democratic Vice President and Presidential nominee had an affair and love child with his campaign worker who, it turned out, was famed ’80’s novelist, Jay McInerney’s former girlfriend and the basis for the hard partying, sex-obsessed character, Allison Poole, in his 1988 novel, Story of My Life.
The former California governor and his wife of 25 years separated after it was revealed that Schwarzenegger had fathered a son with the couple’s employee. News of the affair was no surprise considering the former body builder’s long history of sexual misconduct towards women. What’s he been up to lately? The barbarian makes his big Hollywood comeback this January alongside another Jackass, Johnny Knoxville, in The Last Stand.
It’s hard for me to imagine the charismatic Bill I watched stumping for Obama during this last election campaign is the same sleazy Bill from years ago that got impeached for having a sexual relationship with “that Miss Lewinsky”. It’s remarkable how the 42nd U.S. President and his forgiving wife came out of that mess so seemingly unscathed. Hillary 2016 anyone?
Don’t lie, you know you giggled every time you heard that name. When we found out that the former U.S. Representative had actually sent photos of his, you know what, we couldn’t believe it (and neither could his good friend, Jon Stewart). Thanks, Tony, for forever giving us a real reason to snicker when we hear your name.
The former Detroit mayor and his mistress lied under oath about being involved in a sexual relationship, but it was the extensive racketeering, extortion, bribery, mail and wire fraud and tax evasion that really brought the son of a former Congresswoman down. Kilpatrick, who recently moved to Texas in an apparent attempt to escape his checkered past, told the Detroit Free Press in October 2012, "I am a Texas resident. … I have no intentions of ever residing here again.” Don’t worry Kwame, I’m sure people in Detroit are just fine with that decision.
Mark Sanford is the former Governor of South Carolina who disappeared for roughly a week in June 2009 then after a reporter spotted him at an airport was forced to admit he’d actually been with his mistress in Argentina. Best part of this one? Before leaving for his secret rendezvous, he told some of his staff he’d be away for a few days hiking the Appalachian Trail.
Here’s an oldy, but a goody. Who could forget when Clarence Thomas’ female assistant testified that Thomas looked at a can of Coke on his desk and asked her, “Who has put pubic hair on my Coke?” Wait, what was that you said? Thomas is a Supreme Court Justice?
This Colorado evangelical pastor and staunch George W. supporter publicly announced his and his church’s support of Amendment 43 to the Colorado Constitution, which proposed, “Only a union of one man and one woman shall be valid or recognized as a marriage in this state”. Needless to say Haggard's supporters were a bit surprised when it was revealed he’d been using crystal meth and having sex with a male escort and masseuse for three years.
Rounding out this top ten list is the magnificent Petraeus scandal, which goes something like this: Head of CIA has an affair with the woman writing his biography. Florida socialite (and supposed friend of the Petraeus family) starts getting threatening emails from jealous writer. Scared socialite then contacts her FBI buddy and asks him to investigate (some assume FBI guy may have had a crush on socialite as he sent topless photos of himself to her). Socialite, it then turns out, had also been having “flirtatious” correspondence with a four-star General. Enough already.
At the end of the day, this stuff is impossible to resist. We don’t even need to waste time getting lost in primetime drama when we can tune into the nightly news for a piece of the real thing.