I’m not usually a fan of self help books. I find myself turned off by their simplistic and smug “life-changing advice in one-hundred pages or less!” approach. I’m also not a big fan of books that advocate over-the-top girliness, like how to wear pink nail polish while drinking a cosmo in red-hot stilettos before you go shopping. Puh-lease.

So, it was to my surprise that a fuchsia-bound pussy empowerment book, written by an author who wears pink boas and refer to herself as “Mama,” was something I liked. In fact, when Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts, written by Regena Thomashauer, landed in my lap, I was like, “are you f*$king kidding me?” But I started to read, and then I started to smile.

A friend of mind—a pragmatic, rationally minded, non pink wearing friend—lent me this book when I was going through a rough patch in a relationship, and later she bought me a copy of my own. This book does not contain groundbreaking information, but it is a great gift for a girlfriend that has recently broken up, gone through a divorce, is lacking in self-esteem, or simply needs a flirting refresher.

The subtitle, “Using the Power of Pleasure to Have Your Way with the World” pretty much sums up the content. Mama Geena, through anecdotes, tips, hints, exercises, and advice, assures us that every woman is a Sister Goddess, and reminds us of what we should really already know: that everyone one of us—by embracing pleasure, fun, and our womanhood—can get whatever we want out of life.

It’s not a message that’s all that hard to swallow. (See chapter eight, “Owning and Operating Men,” for more on swallowing.) After all, we’re fun, we like pleasure, and yes, men should be clamoring to be near us and bask in all our glory. But sometimes this is easy to forget. And sometimes we need reminders about how to feel sexy, how to flirt, and—my favorite—how to “party with your inner bitch.”

Just like when you’re on a plane you have to put on your oxygen mask before you can help others with theirs, Mama Gena reminds us that being selfish is sometimes a good thing. Putting numero uno first means getting what you want—then you can share your wonderfulness with others. With a sassy and sensual tone, this book is easy to flip through when you need a little advice, a little encouragement, and little dose of girly self-help.