I sat at the Nurses’ station trying to figure out what I had to do next, but the excruciating headache would not allow my brain to function. To add to the pain, I was also having visual disturbances. Words on the paper I was viewing would disappear and at times start to wave up and down. Maybe I am just tired, I thought. After all, it was almost the end of a very busy shift. As a Registered Nurse Supervisor, I was responsible for writing patients update reports, seeing that all nursing procedures, patient care, doctor’s orders, etc. were carried out correctly, and assisting the nurses when necessary.
This was not the first time I’d had these symptoms. Not long before this episode, I was driving home from work and stopped at a red light. A man stepped off the sidewalk and started to cross the street in front of my car. As he crossed my field of vision, he disappeared, and then reappeared on the opposite side of the street. Another time, looking in a mirror as I combed my hair, part of my face disappeared, and in its place a tic-tac-toe pattern appeared. Some visions were actually beautiful. Changing patterns and colors would replace my vision. One such illusion was an elongated diamond changing colors from purple to pink and mauve in repetition.
After several more episodes of visual disturbances, increasing headaches, staggering and sometimes falling onto furniture, and on occasion briefly fading in and out of awareness, I became concerned. Being a nurse I surmised I could be having seizures, so I made an appointment to see my physician. A (Magnetic Resonance Imaging) or MRI of the brain was ordered. A few days later my physician called and asked me to come to his office for the results.
I was told I had a meningioma, a benign brain tumor located on the covering of the brain called the meningeal membrane on the occipital lobe in back of my left eye. I was not surprised or worried when given the diagnosis, because I already suspected the cause; it exists in my family. Doctors insist it is not hereditary unless there is also a hereditary condition called neurofibromatosis or NF. (Benign tumors which follow nerve paths). The Elephant Man is an extreme case of NF. I don’t believe this condition exists in my family, but this I do know: several members of my family had, or have, meningioma brain tumors. Only five percent of these tumors become malignant. Unfortunately, my maternal grandmother’s tumor did become malignant, and she died in her early forties. My first cousin, a female on my mother’s side, also suffered with a brain and spinal tumor, which paralyzed her. She died in her early sixties. However, my niece, also on my mother’s side, has been living with several of these tumors. She has had three surgeries to remove them, but they grew back, and she continues to have all the same symptoms. Despite her illness, she continues to enjoy life in a retirement community in Florida.
My neurosurgeon agreed with me when I said I would not consider brain surgery. The tumors grow, and multiply, slowly. After four years another MRI revealed a second tumor. I continue to have visual disturbances, mild seizures, and worse of all severe headaches. It is more than thirteen years since I first experienced these symptoms, but all of them can be controlled with medication, proper diet, exercise, rest, a positive attitude, faith in God, and just plan good living.
I had to stop work, but I find joy in my family, friends, church, and volunteer work when I am able. My husband and I belong to a game club and book club that meet monthly. I also enjoy writing, and have written a few articles, poetry, and authored a book about my mom who lived 101 years in New York City. I hope I take after her. It’s just a brain matter, and despite my symptoms I am still able to live a full and productive life.
