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A First Passionate Kiss

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I had a dream last night I would love some insight into. I have been in a long-term relationship for three years now and it has been extremely challenging. The man I fell in love with has betrayed my trust on more than one occasion. We have worked through it each time but now I am at the point that I’m discovering little white lies. I told him today I needed to move on because my needs are not being met.

I told him today in tears that I have given him everything and although he treats me like his wife, he has not made an honest woman out of me and it’s made me sad. I am not ready for marriage but had mentioned to him two months ago that I would like a promise ring as a symbol of the commitment we have. Heck, we live together and even have a shared household checking account. He says he does plan to marry me when the time is right, and please I am not pushing for marriage, but a promise ring has become important to me recently. We have been through a lot and it would make me feel like he has good intentions with me.

After our intense and emotional conversation tonight, he cries, I cry, and we go to bed early. Just before I go to sleep he whispers in my ear that he had planned for us that day to go and look at promise rings; instead I brought up the conversation. I cried and thought to myself how nice … I have to tell him I’m leaving to get the promise ring I told him two months ago was so important … and fall fast asleep.

I woke early this morning feeling such peace and feeling so loved. I had a very nice dream. I was in central park with a new man having a picnic. I can still see his face but it is no one I know or have ever seen. We have a lovely lunch and we lay down to read books and talk. He leans over and puts his hands on my back, flirting, and teasing, and then he leans into to give a kiss full of passion. You know the kind where your entire body feels it and you get lost in the moment. The way you feel when you kiss someone special for the first time? I woke up feeling so happy and so loved but confused it was not the man … the man next to me in bed.
It was such a lovely dream and what I read into it is twofold. If I leave, it is a sign that love, passion, and all those wonderful things are in my future. It gave me hope or it was my psyche telling me I miss that time and those feelings with my current partner and it’s on the horizon again? Whichever, it was nice to wake up feeling so loved and special during a sad weekend of trying to make big decisions.

Any insight? I would so love to hear it. Happy Holidays.

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